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contains mild swearing and mentions of death

I had left my old friends. It was simple. I just couldn't stand being around them any longer. Not after Mari died. I could've just drowned in my sorrows, but I had to keep going. It's not like I didn't have any will to live, I wanted to go back to school. I wanted to keep her memory alive any way I could, however I could. 

I sit down at my desk, watching as other students file into the room, adjusting ties or tucking in shirts as they enter. The silence turns into general noise as everyone settles in, but I stay quiet. There's a collective cheer of sorts as someone enters. I look up, only to see Kel Sullivan. Of all people, why him? Why would he even be here in the first place?

He strides over to me, and sits down. This dumbass.  He grins at me, obviously wanting my approval. I sigh.

"What are you doing here? When were you in my form?"

He laughs nervously.

"Oh, uh, I moved. The head of year decided I'd concentrate better if I wasn't with Sunny. Along with a few other things, but that's about it."

"Sunny's in your form?"

"Yeah, he was."

"But he left, right? I haven't seen him at all for the last few weeks."

"Yeah. I don't blame him."

The teacher enters, and we stop talking. 

Every now and then, I notice Kel glance at me, a half-smile on his lips. I ignore him, but for some reason, it's impossible to. I guess he's that type of person. 

* * *

I walk past the tennis courts, bag on one shoulder. The boys are playing basketball, which isn't surprising. My class are doing netball, after all. I watch them, noticing how one of the players is a league above the rest in terms of skill. A few of his team members call his name. It's Kel. He dashes around the court, calling to his team to pass the ball, before scoring perfectly. Everyone cheers, and he laughs with them, brown eyes shining. I hate how he's so optimistic. It's infuriating.

I love his optimism, the way his eyes shine when he's overjoyed. The way his hair looks, falling into his face every now and then. He's as tall as Hero now, taller, even. Hero was a good 5'7" when he was around our age. Kel's probably around that height, he was one of the tallest students in Year 8. I stare at him as the game resumes, his face set in concentration. I didn't expect that. He hardly concentrates in class, always chewing the ends of his pens or turning coins over and over in his hand. He looks so good like that. I rush off before I get lost in the game myself, not wanting to be late. 

* * *

"Are you serious? Kel? Of all people, why him?"

Kim stares at me in disbelief from across the table, eyes narrowed behind their glasses. 

"He's a fucking idiot, all he does is mess around. Plus he's a weirdo anyway."

"He's not like that!" I stutter, suddenly wanting to defend him.

"Then what is he like?"

"He's..."

"An idiot, like I said."

I sigh. There's no point explaining to them what it is I like about Kel. I've known him since I was about 8, so there's no point pretending. He's just the type of person I want to be like. Always looking on the bright side. Like Mari. An arm slips around my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Aubrey. I forget to think, I know I do."

"It's alright. It was nothing."

Kim pauses, still hugging me.

"If you say so, but you did look pretty upset..."

They sit back down, concern etched on their face. 

"Anyway, it's not like you like him, right? Don't look at me like that! You know exactly what I mean."

I glare at them. 

"Of course I like him. I've known him for years. I just happen to see him more often now, that's all."

They sigh in disbelief.

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