Sworn to Silence | FORMULA 1 | Carlando

🌕 Chapter 5 🌕

Carlos's heart was ponding, his steps felt shaky as he walked up to the door to answer it. He knew what he had to say to the younger driver, but as he opened the door and saw Landos blue green eyes sparkling back at him, he didn't know if he could bring himself to do it. He swallowed sharply, stepping back to let the Brit it. Carlos was visibly stressed, one of his hands was fidgeting with a small bracelet that lay on the opposite wrist. Lando looked up to him, seemingly worried.
"You okay?" Lando asked, stepping closer and placing his hand on the Spaniards shoulder.
"Yes, let's have some food now" he said quickly avoiding the question before flinching away from his touch, avoiding eye contact. Lando only nodded in response, realisation seeming to hit him. They both sat down, silently eating their meals.
"Carlos?" Lando said eventually. Placing his fork into the small box that contained his food.
"Yes?" Carlos replied, still trying to avoid eye contact.
"When's your flight leaving? Assuming you're going to the next race" Lando let out a small laugh before cutting himself off and returning to a more serious look
"Ehh, some time tomorrow" Carlos said sounding more irritated than intended, still only thinking about how he would get the guts to tell him it was over.
"I think we need to talk" Lando said sadly, Carlos finally allowed himself to meet the others eyes, the normally happy, bright and loveable eyes were now filled with sadness, hurt and betrayal. The McLaren drivers facial expressions completed the look of helplessness. Carlos nodded, not being able to find the words to agree, he gestured Lando over to the small balcony that led off of Carlos less than tiny room, to which he soon followed.

Landos POV:
The cloudy sky's of Monaco's slow night surrounded them, the darkness reflecting that of what the two drivers were currently feeling, they both stood there for a few moments, staring across the city. All Lando wanted to do was to rest he head in the Spaniards shoulder, and soak up his last night in Monaco, but he couldn't, he knew what was coming, he just couldn't seem to figure out why, when ever he looked into Carlos's eyes, all he could was pain and dread. But now, they were standing outside, in one of the most beautiful nights Lando had seen for awhile, the clouds lay in peaceful streaks that seemed to dance around the brights stars, and a slightly warm breeze that hit Landos face, it was all so calming, but there was no running away from reality, he had to focus on what was about to happen.
"Lando?" Carlos said, his voice shaky, and filled with pain. Lando turned to him, his eyes already beginning to swell.
"Yea..." he said sadness taking over him, Carlos raised his hand to Landos shoulder.
"I don't think I can do whatever is going on between us, there's to much at stake to risk it" Carlos kept a strong face, but the pain in his eyes glazed his eyes at the words. Lando looked up to the stars, trying desperately not to start crying, he felt as if he was about to collapse, his entire body was shaking.
"What do you mean?" those were the only words the young driver could force out of his lips.
"We both worked to hard to let a silly little crush get in the way of it" Carlos said before removing his hand from Landos shoulder. Anger seemed to form in Landos mind, allowing him to talk without becoming a ball of tears.
"You don't get it, do you? This has never been some stupid crush, I love you, I always have! I didn't realise until last night, but I do, I love you more than anything, and so what if our teams find out? What are they going to do if we get together? Last time I checked we have contacts" his anger faded back onto sadness, he knew that nothing he could say would help.
"Fuck you" Lando said before turning around to run for the door of the hotel room, he pushed down on the handle, allowing the door to open. Once the door was closed behind him, he lay against it, slowly sliding down the door until he was sitting. Tears began to roll down his face, he felt so helpless, so alone. The walls around him seemed to cave in, everything was meaningless. Landos breaths became raspier, the feeling that he couldn't get enough air into his lungs only making it harder. He stood up in a panic, he couldn't go back inside Carlos's room, so instead he picked up his phone, desperately scrolling through his contacts to find the one he wanted. He taped on the name and let it ring.
"Hello?" The voice after answering.
"Please help me" Lando managed to say through breaths.
"What?! What's wrongs?" The voice said in a scared tone.
"I'll text you the address, please hurry" Lando said, hanging up the phone before collapsing back to the ground.