Dear Paolo,
I wrote this to you the night before I left. I just wanted you to know that I forgive you. You were always the first person in my heart. Even when Lukas was the one holding me and calming me down, you were the one I was thinking of. I wondered whether you were okay or what were you doing. I wanted to be with you. There were times that I wished it was your arms that I was in. That it was you holding me tight, whispering encouraging words in my ear. Because it was always been the two of us. It was always Pao and Jai. No teams to come in between us, No relationships and No pressure on our shoulders. It was always us.
It's crazy how we went from being attached to the hip, inseparable and fond of each other to ignoring each other in reality, acting like we didn't know each other and to hitting each other. We both broke each other, whether we admit it or not. We bruised each other. We shattered our walls and filled our mind with scars and the only way to fix this is to distance each other. No matter how hard you hit me or cussed at me or even said those words at me, I kept thinking and coming back to you. I mean what is it with you and you keep pulling me back like magnet.
I think I know. It's because I love you. I love you too much that I kept on bothering you even when you were busy with your training. But you hurt me each time. I wanted you to be there for me because all my life I stood by your side even when you looked at someone else's eyes each time you trained. So maybe next time, I hope your eyes would search for mine rather than someone else's. Maybe next time, you'll finally see what's in front of you before you lose it. Maybe next time, It would be me in your arms. Maybe next time, You'll be able to see me off.
You're right, we really are a once in a lifetime occurrence. It wouldn't have worked out between us. Maybe in another lifetime or in another universe. But in this lifetime, in this universe, the only thing that I can do is forgive you. I forgive you for being an asshole. For wanting to be the best. For focusing on that stupid team and for wanting what you want. Thank you for our friendship and for lending me your shoulder to cry on. Thank you for holding me and being my anchor for a short period of time.
All my Love,
Jaimie
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Reading this letter sent tears running down his eyes, he couldn't stop it. Like how he couldn't stop the girl he love leave. He was too late. It hurt a lot but he knew he deserved it. He couldn't see her even when she was cheering him on. He couldn't see her even when she was the one making sure he was cared for. He turn a blind eye when it came to her. He didn't know why. But he had lost her, faster than he could've imagined.
They could've turned this story around or even rewrote it but they were blinded. There was too much around them and they left each other's grasp suddenly without warning. a part of them had died but they didn't see it until it was waving it's hand on their face.
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10 years later...
Stepping out of her car, Jai walks towards the railings. 10 years ago today, they had made a promise. Both of them would meet once again. In a place where it calms them the most. Resting her hands on the railings, she closes her eyes and breathes in. Feeling the breeze fly by her face calms her. As she rests, she didn't realize that there was someone walking towards her until there was two strong arms encircling her waist and burying their face on her hair. Turning around, She was met with the same eyes that looked through her all the time. Lukas hugged her tightly and lets out a few tears. He looked different. He was wearing a suit and glasses. He was taller and much more mature than the man he met before. Meanwhile, Jai looked at peace. She was glowing and looked confident. She wore a blouse partnered with black slacks. She looked professional. Letting out a breath, Jai leaned back and looked at the man in her arms.
"Hello, my love." She smiles at him.
"Hello, my Rose." He greets her.
" I missed you." She says
" I missed you too." He returns.
Lukas leans his forehead on hers, he felt like he was in his own world. Just the two of them. No one else. He was caught off guard when he felt a pair of soft lips on his. He lets out a breath and kissed back. Holding her tightly, Lukas smiles breaking their kiss.
"I love you." Jai says.
" And I love you." He answers.
Jai knew that with him, there wouldn't be a next time. With him, she was gonna be his priority and that he would be the one to be her anchor forever. It was his arms that would hold her. It was his face that he would wake up to. He was her second chance and she's never letting go of him.
