keep driving // max mayfield

13

I walked into music class with Robin, already worried about seeing her. Music was a dud class. We didn't learn anything. We would sit for an hour and listen to the teacher drone on and on about music theory and the difference between rhythm and a beat. Don't get me wrong some people love learning that shit, I'm just not one of them.

I really didn't want to choose music as my elective, but Robin forced me too because we had a very small number of classes together compared to last year. It sucked even worse because we had it with the Freshman, although that came in handy this particular day. In my head I was reciting a conversation between Max and I that I hope would happen, but Max always had a way of surprising you.

The first group of freshman pilled into the room, but Max was not one of them. Shit. Was she avoiding me? Calm down Alex. It was much easier to pretend that I didn't care about her and that I was indifferent towards her when we hadn't shared such a serious moment together. I'd seen a side of her that no one else had, and it was special, and real. At least I hoped it was. She was vulnerable with me, and now was my time to show up and show I cared.

Robin put her hand on my bouncing leg to calm it down.

"Chill." She said.

"What if-" I started, but was interrupted by Max walking in the room.

Her hair was up, headphones on, blue zip up, sweatpants. Her face was serious, but not mad. That calmed me down a little. She didn't see me yet, instead she took a seat next to a Junior named Tommy. I sighed a little, at least she's here. The music teacher Mr. Morris, walked in right after her.

I was trying really hard not to stare at Max, but I just wanted her to see me. My seat was in the back of the class, and she was sitting two rows ahead of me. Mr. Morris pulled out a projector, today we were watching a movie on some stupid music shit. He turned off the lights and started the movie, then sat back at his desk and turned around. 

I grabbed a notepad and a pencil from my backpack, ripping out a page. I wrote on the paper, 'Can we talk.' and rolled the paper up. I tossed it over Max's head, it landed on her desk and she turned her head around to try and see who threw it. She still didn't see me but she grabbed the piece of paper and opened it. 

She looked down at the paper for a few seconds before she figured it out. She turned to face me and we made eye contact. I got really nervous as soon as she looked at me. I adjusted in my seat. She looked back forward and raised her hand. 

"Yes Max." Mr. Morris said.

"Can I go to the bathroom please?" She asked, her voice raspier then last night.

I got the message. I raised my hand.

"Can I go get my water bottle?" I asked.

He nodded his hand and I got up, Robin smiling at me. I weaved through the desks and opened the door, walking to the hall. She was leaning on the lockers, looking down at her walkman. I walked up to her. 

"Hey." I said.

She turned to look at me and stood up straight. 

"Hi." She said, she sounded, nervous?

I leaned on the locker next to her. She looked at me like she looked at me last night. I really liked it when she looked at me like that. We stared at each other, but didn't say anything. Her hoodie covered up her neck, and for good reason, she probably didn't want to broadcast what happened last night. I didn't know what to say to her. It was awkward. Different than before. 

"Should we go-" She started.

"Yeah." I said, walking towards a bathroom.

As I was about to walk in, she grabbed my arm and pulled me into a closet.