The Trust

Part 37: The Mirrors

Dear Julie and Darcey:

I'm so sorry. 

I'm the oldest. I should have known better. I should have known him.

Darcey, you said to me your father's no longer the black sheep of the family. He never was.

He left you both and your mom, and that was a tragedy. But he was sick. If addiction didn't grab him in a stranglehold, your father would have been right by your side all these years, It killed him to leave you. But he knew it was for the best. Because he knew himself; he'd choose the bottle or the needle over you any day of the week and twice on Sunday. The devil had him in his grip. Doesn't make it right, but that's what was. But he didn't choose that life; you need to know this. He loved you both more than life itself. He knew you'd be safer with your mother and happier if he was somewhere else. 

He tried to straighten out, Lord knows he did. Your Dad didn't want a life of loss and addiction. He just wanted  his own pain to stop.

We all felt the effects of growing up in extreme poverty, but your Dad was especially sensitive. Even as a baby, he felt things more deeply than anyone. Whenever Ma took him around to other babies and one of them started to cry, so did your father. He was the most empathetic man I've ever met.

He was an animal lover. Did you know that? Julie, you get that from him. There wasn't a stray dog in the neighbourhood he didn't try to take home with him, or that he didn't save part of his supper for. Anyone who loves animals can't be that bad, can they?

Please find some space for forgiveness in your hearts for your father. The rest of us had thicker skin; we got on with things. Played the hand we were dealt. Your father was different. Your Dad had a very large heart and a generous soul. Please don't be angry with him for the life he led. It wasn't by choice.

I tell you this because I see the differences between your dad and Rob. I know you might be embarrassed that your father fell to addiction. Don't be. It's something that affects the best of us, the ones who feel the most. Don't compare him to your uncle Rob, who's a different type. 

I can't explain Rob, I just always knew he was different. There was a lack of caring there, something behind the eyes that wasn't quite right, even when he was a little boy. He had charm, sure, but it was superficial. Looking into your Dad's eyes, you could see all the world's pain inside. Rob's eyes were empty, reflecting anything you wanted him to be.

You have to bring Rob to justice. He's gone too far this time, hurt too many people. He doesn't have an Achilles' heel, don't look for one. The only thing I can tell you is that he's deeply religious (go figure) and superstitious. We spent a lot of time at Granny Douglas' house when we were kids, she was half crazy. Whenever there was a lightening storm, she'd run around the house covering the mirrors. She said thunderstorms brought out the spirits; she'd run around in her nightgown with her white hair standing on end, screaming like a banshee. We thought she was nuts, but she scared the bejesus out of Rob; he'd always run and cower in my room when she had one of her spells.

I don't know if this will help or not. He's a different type of mad. But I offer this to you in hopes that you will find a way to end this. I've always tried to be there for you girls without being too overpowering — I never wanted to take your Dad's place, or even try. I only wanted to help out your mom with a few dollars here and there. I never wanted to overstep. But please know, I love you like I love my own kids. You'll find a way through this. Remember the mirrors. 

"A Douglas! A Douglas!"

Jamais arrière (Never behind)Tender and true

You're both a true representation of the best of us. Get him, girls. 

Your Uncle,

Jack