[Without you] /Lippa/

Hugs and Letters

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of  miscarriage in this chapter

8th February

It's been two weeks since the incident with Jasmine, Pippa didn't talk to her since then. She tried to contact Jasmine and called her but either Jasmine wasn't replying to her texts or sent her to the voicemail. Phillipa didn't even understand what Jasmine's problem was at this point and it wasn't until that one day, until Pippa decided to go to Jasmine and talk to her directly, face to face.

It was a normal Monday, Sebby was playing in his bedroom while Lin was sitting on the couch and had one arm over Phillipa's shoulders, who sat next to him. Since Lin worked so hard, they decided to relax at his only free day. But Pippa hadn't seen Renée either since two weeks so she decided to text her.

Hey Renée, I wanted to ask,
if you and Alexis would like
to go out with Lin and me
for dinner tonight.

I'd love to Pippa, but tonight
is Jasmine and Anthony's
welcome party in their new home.

What? Wdym?

Jasmine didn't tell you?

No we haven't spoken in
over 2 weeks. Can you send
me their new address?

Sure!

Pippa turned then to Lin who was sitting next to her. "Did you know Jasmine and Anthony are having a party tonight?" She asked him curious. "Yeah I did." He said, scared of Pippas reaction. "They even invited me but since I knew that you and Jasmine have your problems at the moment, I thought I wouldn't tell you. I didn't want to stress you." He said in defence. "I gotta go." Phillipa stood up in anger and went to get her shoes, put them on and was about to leave, as Lin stopped her for a moment. "Wait, Pips. What are you doing?" He asked worried. "I'm doing what I should've done two weeks ago." She opened the door and left a confused Lin behind her.

Phillipa got in the car, typed in the address, Renée sent her and started the engine. Twenty minutes later, she arrived infront of a big beautiful house. It wasn't directly in the city so it had a nice garden with a tree infront of it. She got out of the car, passed the front yard, until she was infront of the door. She rang and waited impatiently for someone to open the door. Sadly it wasn't Jasmine as she suspected it, it was Anthony.

"Oh my god, hey Pips." He said surprised. "Hey Anthony, nice seeing you too. Is Jasmine here?" Phillipa asked directly, without hesitation. Anthony knew what was going on between Phillipa and his girlfriend so seeing Phillipa here made him slightly nervous. "I don't think she likes to see you right now." He explained. "I don't care. I need to talk to her." And with that she pushed Anthony slightly aside and entered the house. "She's in the living room." Anthony whispered, pointing at a door while he was scared of an angry, pregnant Pippa storming his house. She nodded thankfully and got into the room Anthony pointed at.

As she entered the room, she saw Jasmine sitting on the couch, who immediately turned around in surprise and looked at Pippa. "What's your problem?" Pippa started the conversation. "What did I do wrong? Or did u choose to ignore me the past two weeks because you thought it'd be funny?" "Pippa..." Jasmine said exhausted. "No tell me. I'm so sick and tired of people trying to blame me for everything. I wanna know what I did wrong." Phillipa continued while walking slowly towards Jasmine.

"I needed space from you." Jazzy began her explanation. "Space?" Pippa asked confused. "I needed space from you and Lin and everything that had to do with it." "Why? I know that the topic of Lin and me can be tiring but I definitely don't want all of this attention on me, I swear." "Pips, I had miscarriage." Jasmine said before tears were running down her cheeks. Phillipa immediately went silent, as she heard what Jazzy told her. She saw her friend now crying and she immediately went to her side, sat on the couch and got her in a supportive hug. After a short moment of silence Jasmine continued to speak.  "You see, after our fight on the same day I went home and I got sudden cramps. I called Anthony and he drove me to the hospital. I didn't even know I was pre-" but before Jasmine could finish the sentence she started sobbing heavily again. "Jasmine, I'm so sorry." Pippa whispered, while her eyes got also teary.

"It's not your fault, Pips. I just couldn't see you having all of this, while I lost it." While saying that, Jasmine pointed at Pippas stomach. "I understand it Jasmine but I wished I would've been able to be there for you, because I..." Pippa stopped for a moment, questioning if she should continue. Jasmine looked at her clearly confused. "Because I made this experience already. And I know exactly how it feels." She continued while now tears were running down her cheeks."You had one too?" "Yeah it was one year before I officially joined the process of Hamilton. I found out and... Steven and me were very excited but then I lost it because... because I got too stressed about everything." They hugged each other again. "I'm so sorry, Pips. I'm so sorry I first got mad at you at our lunch because you and Lin were always topic number one. No matter if we were at the Richards Rogers or at lunch with Renée. It was always about you and never about me or even Renée. Renée's probably fine with this but I got tired of it."

Phillipa completely understood now why Jasmine acted the way she acted the past two weeks and she hated the fact that she couldn't be there for her in such difficult times. Pippa knew about all the attention she got, since she slept with the guy named Lin-Manuel Miranda, but she never thought this would affect her friend so much. "But why didn't you tell me earlier about how you feel?" "I thought if I said this, it would make me a bad friend. I care about you so much, but the whole Lin-Story got tiring. I just didn’t want to loose you." Jasmine said then as tears were running down her face. Pippa immediately pulled her into a hug. "You're not a bad friend. You're the best friend I could've wished for and I'm so thankful to have you in my life. I understand what you're saying and all this attention is really tiring to be honest." Phillipa whispered while hugging her stage sister. "I love you." Jasmine said smiling. "Love you too." Pippa answered back, as they heard an "Awwwe." Coming from the door. They both turned around and saw Anthony standing there. By the end, Jasmine invited Lin and Pippa to the house party, which they celebrated later this evening.

17th February

The weeks passed and it was already in the middle of February, as three live changing letters arrived in the letterbox of the house shared by Lin and Pippa... Lin woke up first in the morning. He wanted to leave the bed and to let Pippa sleep but she woke up as soon as Lin wasn't next to her anymore. "Lin?" She asked half asleep. "Good morning, honey." He said with a smile. "I didn't want to wake you up, Pips. Sorry." "It's fine, I'm just gonna get up. What's for breakfast?" She asked, as she finally opened her eyes to look at Lin standing infront of the bed, looking at her.

"I'm gonna make you some delicious pancakes with maple syrup, how about that?" "Sounds delicious, I'll be downstairs in ten minutes." Pippa answered sleepy, while Lin left the room and went downstairs. Sebastian was still asleep so he didn't bother to wake him so soon. As Lin was finally downstairs, he first went to the letterbox to see if he got any new letters and in fact there were two letters addressed to him and one addressed to Pippa. He went with the letters to the kitchen and opened one of his two on the kitchen counter.

It was an invitation of his manager for a first meet up for a new Disney project in which they would love to have Lin as a songwriter. He had to read through the letter a few times until he realised he got a job offer of Disney. Disney wanted him. That moment Pippa came down the stairs, looking at a happy Lin. "What's up?" She asked, as she saw him so happy."I got a job offer of Disney." He smiled happily, showing Phillipa the letter. "Oh my god!" She exclaimed happily. "They probably won't start to make the movie until around 2017 but they need to start planning the concept of the movie and me as the song  composer has to be a part of it. I'm so excited, Pips." Lin exclaimed as he happily hugged Pippa.

"What's that?" Pippa asked then as she saw the other yet unopened letter on the counter. "I don't know... it's from my lawyer so probably some check I need to pay him." He explained as he opened the letter and started to read it. While he was reading it, his face went completely pale. "What's up?" Pippa immediately noticed the mood swing of Lin, as he read it. "Vanessa wants the sole custody of Sebastian." He answered still in shock about the message. "What? No. She can't do that." Phillipa shook her head as she took the letter out of Lins hand to read it by herself. "She can't be serious. You've been taking care of Sebastian the last few months, not her. Why does she want to make things worse?" "I don't know, but I'm not gonna give Sebby up. He's happy right now and I don't want to rip him out of the life he finally got used to. He's my son and Vanessa won't take him away from me."