Dr. Secret

Out of Character

Shannon POV*

I still felt flustered from yesterday and entered Dr. M's class the next morning feeling excited but nervous. I couldn't believe the things she said. I have never had an interaction with a professor that wasn't strictly about school so this was all new to me. It made me wonder if this wasn't her first time flirting with a student and that made a pit form in my stomach. Had she been with a student before? Or was it simply just an innocent comment that I was reading into too much because of my feelings for her? All of this was going through my head as I sat in my chair waiting for Dr. M to enter the room and begin class. 

A few minutes later I hear her heels coming down the hall and I straighten up in my seat. I don't look back as she enters the room this time and she snakes around the desks as she walks to the front of the room. She chooses a path that causes her to have to squeeze between mine and Jessica's desk. As she turns to pass through, I begin to look up at her with my eyes starting at her hips and making their way to her eyes. She looks at me but not with a smile, she looks tired and honestly a bit angry. I show confusion in my face but look away as she passes us and goes up to the podium to teach. 

"Good Morning everyone, I hope you all are ready to begin the course material today." 

She begins writing the first chapter's title on the board, "Water" and turns around. She's keeping her eyes low and is not making an effort to seem cheery to us. She taught for the entirety of the 50-minute lecture period while somehow managing to stay monotone the entire time. Something was definitely not right, she is not acting any way near how she did yesterday. 

"Alright, we will stop here for today. Please let me know if you have anyway questions. I have office hours Tuesdays and Thursdays from 1-3, or you can email me. Have a good day." 

Her eyes continued to stay down and they looked dead. I am still looking at her even though she had finished the lecture when Jess asked, "Want to go grab a bagel for breakfast?"

"Yeah," I sigh, feeling like Dr. M's sadness was rubbing off on me. "I'll meet you there though. I want to follow up with Dr. M about the research." 

She grabbed her things and walked out of the classroom. 

No other students hung back to ask questions, as they could probably tell as I could that she wasn't herself. I couldn't just walk away though and felt the need to check on her, or at least talk to her again. 

"Hi Dr. M, how are you?

She didn't even look up at me saying, "Fine" as she packed up lecture materials into her bag. 

This made me feel selfish for making her interact with me when she was obviously having a bad day. 

In an effort to seem like any of her other students, I decided to just ask about the research. 

"I wanted to follow up with you and see if you had a chance to look at my research ideas we talked about yesterday?" I tried to keep my voice calm and not bombard her by being overeager. 

She took a second to respond and looked up at me once all her things were packed away, with a sigh she began, "I'm sorry, no I haven't been able to. Something came up yesterday that really sucks, sorry, and I'm honestly just barely making it through today. I'll send you an email once I've had the chance to look and we can have a meeting. I have to go." 

She started to walk away and I felt the urge to try and comfort her even though I know I shouldn't. "I'm sorry to hear that. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to lessen your load." 

She scoffed and looked back at me, "Yeah, um thanks for the gesture? This isn't something a student should be concerning themselves with." 

Wow, she really wasn't having a good day. 

"I know," I responded, "Just wanted to show that I noticed something was bothering you during the lecture and wanted to ask just in case." I looked down, feeling embarrassed.

"Thank you, Shannon. But please don't spend time worrying about me." Even though she was upset she somehow still looked stunning. Then she just turned and walked out of the room. 

Yesterday she was playful and today she made sure to make me feel like any other student. 

Feeling rejected and sad, I headed over to have a bagel with Jessica in hopes it would make me feel better. 

I walked into the cafe and saw Jess, "Hey, sorry for making you wait. Did you already order?" 

She had waited for me which was really sweet and so we went and got our breakfast and coffee together before sitting down. I wondered if Jess noticed the change in Dr. M as well, "Hey so did you think something was off with Dr. M today?" 

"What do you mean?" she asked while taking a bite from her bagel.

"Well, she just seemed very unhappy and didn't look great." 

"Honestly that class is so boring to me so it wasn't different than any other lecture." 

"Hm okay," deciding to tell her about our interaction. "When I talked to her she said she hadn't even looked at my email and that something bad happened yesterday."

"Oh really?", she asked not even trying to hide that she didn't care

"Yeah, and when I offered help and just tried to be nice she snapped at me. It was so out of character for her." I said as I took a sip from my vanilla oat milk latte.

"She snapped at you? That is weird because I know she's always been known to be easygoing with her students."

"Well, she wasn't today. I can't really blame her though. I'm sure I wouldn't want a stranger in my business but still. I don't know." 

Jess didn't respond as she continued eating and took out her notebook to begin some of our first assignments for the semester. I sat there worried about Dr. M and knowing I couldn't do anything to make her feel better. I don't even know her and I feel this way. I definitely had hardcore feelings for her. I just hope the next class she's more herself and we can have some banter. 

It felt slightly naughty to have that back and forth with my professor but I wanted more of it.

X, M