Victory Is When Hope Prevails Above All Else

Part three

27 July 1998:

Davie seemed to be much better, his tantrums had stopped and he was actually becoming quite a helpful, sweet little kid. The more affection and love I showed him, the sweeter he'd become. I tried my best to keep him as far away from dad as possible and every evening I'd take him to watch the sunset on this massive rock. He'd curl up against me and I'd wrap my arms around him and tell him wild stories. This particular evening we saw a jellyfish floating below us, the last rays of sunlight was shining through it and it looked quite magical. "You know, despite the fact that it's flimsy and soft and can easily be broken, jellyfish can overcome anything, there sting is so powerful and no matter how many times a shark bites it or someone cuts it, it will go on living. But that little creature's sting always causes a massive effect." I was just reflecting my thoughts out loud. "Well I think that goes to show that the people who you would never expect, the softest, littlest of people can make the most difference." Davie smiled at me and then said, "And that they have special powers." I laughed, "Exactly." I said whilst running my hands though his hair.

03 August 1998:

I took Saph in for another check up, it didn't cost much and I had the money anyway. Dr Gareth saw me sitting on the same bench I had when he first told me about her brain cancer. He came to take a seat next to me. "Your dad must be a top businessman to get that money." He commented. I nodded, "Yeah, he's been surprising everyone with how successful he's been lately." I replied. He laughed, "I guess I'd rather believe that as well." I just stared on ahead, not wanting to give anything away. "How is she?" I asked. "Well we're lucky that there wasn't any brain damage but leukemia isn't a joke, she's still going to have to continue with chemo once a month." "Ok so how much per session?" I asked. He seemed to be mentally calculation before saying, "R500 per session." I looked at him, I couldn't help feeling slightly angry and ashamed at the same time. "With all due respect doctor, I'm not stupid, I know it should be double or triple that, I told you, my dad makes money, I don't want my family to be treated like a charity!" I said firmly. "It's cheaper for babies and anyway, I'd rather not get any money than have to hear that you're in prison again!" At that he got up and walked away. I let my head drop into my hands, on my lap and began to sob. I kept my head down as I went in to Saph, making sure not to make eye contact with anyone.

"Why the fuck did you tell Dr Gareth!?" I came storming into Jason's room. "Chill dude! I have no idea what you're talking about and I didn't tell nobody nothing." He responded whilst grabbing me by the shoulders and shoving me against his wall. "My parents are home so keep it down will you?" "Ok, ok but if you didn't tell him then how did he know?" I demanded. "I don't know and why do you care anyway?" He asked. "You burnt a prison down, an entire prison Jason! It's headlines all over! People are searching for us, if he knows that then he must know that you burnt the place down and then it won't be soon before we're back in prison!" "Shit!" He responded. "Ok I told him." Jason sighed before continuing, "I didn't know what to do and I panicked when I got your letter so I showed it to him when I gave him the money. I didn't tell him what you'd done to be caught though." I looked at Jason for a long long time, "He promised not to tell anyone. Dale I'm really sorry." "Don't worry about it." I replied and then reached for a cigarette and lighter. "Dre really fell apart when we were got caught, I never thought I'd see him like that." I told Jason. He shrugged, "Some people just act tough, weak as hell on the inside though, can't deal with anything real." I looked up at him, considering this and wondering what Dre's childhood was like. "You seem to be the opposite." Jason told me, referring to what he'd previously said about Dre.

05 August 1998:

I was carrying Saph in my arms as I made my way back from pulling in the fishing nets. She had started talking and one of her favourite words was "fish" and she always gave a bright smile when she saw them. I froze as I looked further down the beach and then quickly looked around to check that no one was watching, before dropping Saph behind a rock. I ran towards my dad who was relentlessly pummeling Davie. The poor kid wasn't even screaming. Anger overcame me and I imagined striking my dad, I tightened my grip on my knife as I ran forward. That was it, I wasn't taking this anymore, I should've taken the kids and left him long ago. "Get lost, you disgrace!" I screamed at him as he grabbed Davie by the back of his head and pushed his head underwater into a rock pool. "Get your hands off him!" I screamed, I was running as fast as my legs could carry me but I wasn't going to get there in time. I threw myself towards them with my knife outstretched, I lost my balance as I fell onto the sand and in that moment loosened my grip on the knife. My dad grabbed it from me and held it up to his chest. The world had frozen around me. I wanted to scream but I couldn't move, not even my jaw. Davie was thrashing desperately in the water but I couldn't even move to help him. That was it. He didn't even cry out. I could fool myself into thinking it wasn't real if it wasn't for the blood pooling from his chest. His face grew pale as he fell back onto the sand and as the last breath escaped him his eyes closed. I grabbed Davie from the water and held his head against my chest as I sprinted away. Davie was spluttering and coughing as I grabbed Saph, who was crying from behind her rock. The only things I took with me were my cricket bat and my money. I kept my gaze ahead of me as I ran, refusing to look back. I didn't even know where I was going, I ran straight past the train station and just continued going and going. I eventually threw myself down against a tree and held my head in my hands and sobbed. Those images of him sticking that knife, my knife through his chest, the blood spurting out kept playing over and over in my head. "No no!" I was furiously punching the tree whilst sobbing. I kept thinking about how different it all could've been, about how just this morning he was with me, about how he still could've been if I'd just struck with my hand instead of my knife. I felt a warm body against me and looked down to see Davie holding me, "Don't cry Dale, it's ok, it's not your fault." He said to me in the sweetest little voice. I nodded and wiped my tears away, "You're right, everything's going to be ok." I told him. I then picked both of them up and walked over to the train station. It was deep into the night when we arrived in the city, I couldn't see too well but I managed to find us a spot behind a shopping mall that looked fairly safe. I went into a garage shop to get some bread and ended up buying some cheap wine as well.