Arranged Marriage | Taekook Fanfiction |

Flashbacks

Trigger Warning: Graphic representation of an Anxiety/Panic attack. I will mark the area with asterisks. Sensitive audience can skip the portion. I will provide a brief non descriptive summary in the Author's Note at the end of the chapter fir those who have skipped.

Might I but moor - tonight -
In thee! ~Emily Dickinson

11.

After a long conversation with Mr and Mrs Kim. Jungkook informed Taehyung and took his leave. Although everyone wanted him to stay for another day before travelling, Kook knew he had work that needed to be sorted. Especially if he was going to be married so soon and be handed over the company next month.

As he sat in his car, he was glad Taehyung had forced him to take his driver to drive so that he could rest. Because he sure had a lot going on in his head and driving wouldn't have been very safe.

Things were happening around Kook and as much as he wanted to be excited, he was scared. So scared. Before he could stop his brain from running amuck, his head had already driven down the memory lane and all he could do was try and control his breathing as he looked out.

*Sensitive content ahead*

1 Year ago

Kook sat on the bathroom floor. His body was trembling. He wished he could stop it from shivering. His breathing was hitched. No matter how many windows he opened, or exhausts he switched on or weather he sat directly in front of AC duct, he could not bloody breathe.

His throat was getting dry. Tears won't stop flowing from his eyes. No matter how hard he tried. He felt pathetic. His brain stuck on the last look his love gave him before they finally broke up... Running around in his head like a broken cassette. And no matter how much he wants to keep his negatives emotions aside, they circle around the rims of his consciousness like eagle looking for prey. He was getting dizzy. If he didn't control his breathing, he would faint. Where was his anxiety medication when he needed it the most. He tried drinking water but it didn't help. All he wanted was some peace and to breath normally. Damn! His body was still shivering. He had to do something. He went out of the washroom and reached his medicine cabinet. Before he could search for something, He saw black. He could feel his body being held by Jin. Jin put the medicine into his mouth. And kook wished he had the energy to soothe Jin as he cried or as he lovingly kept threading Kook's hair.

Slowly but steadily, his breathing was getting better. The shivering was reducing. He fell into a restless slumber.

*Please continue reading*

He had spent countless nights like that one. He knew love hurt. Getting close to people meant pain. It also meant change
And kook knew when things changed, he got fucked up. New things made him anxious. His life after his boyfriend left him was a mess. Only he knows how he had managed to get out of the darkest period of his life. He still wondered if he had actually managed to come out of that time. Didn't he drink everynight just in hopes that he won't have nightmares and that he would pass out and that his brain would maybe stop screaming about the pain in his heart. Wasn't drinking his escape from his pain? So, when he was already so fucked up... Was it a wise decision to take more risks....

But he knew he had to... People depended on him but that didn't mean he wasn't shit scared. But he must do it. If not for himself atleast the Namjin couple, they deserved it, he thought as he slipped into a peaceful slumber.

'Aish! This is so much work.' Jungkook held his head and stared at the piles of paperwork in front of him. It had been 10 days since his trip to the Kims. A lot had happened. His wedding was in 15 days. He was going to be a CEO of his company 10 days after his wedding. Which give him 25 more days before he officially took charge of the company. His Joonie hyung was training him everyday in office and at home told him all the offical things about their business partners, idols, managers. He also told him non essential stuff like the parties he needed to go or the people and places he needed to know to network to stay at the top of his game.