Outside Our Remit (A The Batman, 2022 Riddler x You Story)

Chapter 1: Here's The Plan

"This is so far out of our remit it's not even funny. I mean what do you think we are? The Mulder and Scully of forensic accounting? I don't think even they did anything this stupid though."

"Season six, episode fourteen or fifteen, I'm sure. Mulder and Scully pretend to be married to investigate mysterious disappearances in this weird planned community and-"

"Nerd."

He muttered it so quietly under his breath, but you spun around to shoot him a disapproving glance. He was faced away from you, reading over some documents at the table. You could just tell, even from the back of him, that he was smirking to himself.

"Takes one to know one." A weak response, but this was your favourite thing about your new job at one of the main firms in Gotham, the playful banter between you and Eddie.

You'd started there five months ago, and you latched onto him on your first day, much to his initial chagrin. He had later confessed to you that he thought it was a prank at first, that someone else had planned it with you in the morning, getting you in on a joke as way to initiate you into the 'cool kids club' (he obviously thought of work as an extension of high school, and there was trauma in there somewhere), pretend to be friends with weird, shy Eddie. But it was exactly this that had drawn you in. He was the only person who didn't seem like a finance bro, who wasn't ruthless or obsessed with talking investments and portfolios, the only one who seemed intelligent beyond the numbers and manipulation. In fact, the more you got to know him, the more you realised just how much he hated the others, hated money and what it did to people. Probably why he was in the forensic department.

Eddie loved puzzles. He had one pen he used on them, beautiful, clinical looking silver exterior and the ink was a deep green colour. It was always clipped to his shirt pocket, and he was oddly protective of it. He'd almost snatched it from you when he caught you using it once, before apologising profusely in a nervous and stammered manner. You later made it up to him by bringing him a coffee and a new puzzle book. He breezed through it. Always pen, because he never made a mistake. He was thoughtful, quiet, and polite in a way that made him seem like he was from a different time period. It made you giggle when he would pull out a chair for you in the break room, bring you a coffee and silently apologise for interrupting your work, hold every door open for you on the walk from your shared office to the exit, even holding his palm over the lift doors just in case they dared to close before you had time to get off.

Everyone else had quickly forgotten about you, at least outside of the occasional snarky comments they made about you and Eddie. The two weirdos, basement freaks. Nerds. Despite having one of the more arguably important jobs at the firm, you were the outcasts together. And while you weren't necessarily detectives, the fact that your job involved a fair bit of investigative work, solving puzzles much to Eddie's delight, it felt like you were partners. The two of you made the little office you shared into a home. It was something Eddie wasn't sure of at first, when you began bringing in little trinkets for your desk and putting some plants around the room. He even giggled at your pastel pink name plate for your desk, but changed his tune when you brought him in a matching pastel green one, Edward Nashton etched into the front in a black font. He held it in his hands for a long time, mouth open slightly in a goofy smile. All he'd managed to get out was a hushed and breathy "thank you" before he turned away. You were sure you had seen his cheeks get flushed.

You were the epitome of the weird 'domestic' bliss that work-wives and work-husbands tended to create. You shared workloads, cases, bought lunch and coffees for each other, had inside jokes now too. But it had never gone further. Eddie was shy, he liked his space and privacy. He was more open now, sure, but it had taken him a long time to get there. And there were a lot of things about his past you still weren't sure of. He knew everything about you though. You were an incorrigible rambler. It was nerves, maybe, or a need for someone to like you, although usually people were put off when you told them anecdotes that either went nowhere or were entirely inappropriate. An over-sharer without a filter. But Eddie was always interested. He always listened, perhaps because he preferred to listen than talk. The dynamic worked for you both. And he was great at listening, very active. He was encouraging, asking questions, but never intrusive. He laughed at your jokes, smiled when you told him how your night had been, what the weekend had involved. And he was sympathetic.