SAY YOU SAY ME

CHAPTER 17

It was late in the evening.

Ahaan was working on his laptop, aggressively typing a document. That was his way of getting rid of all the thoughts raging in his head. But somehow, he couldn't wrap his head around work.

"Amir would never have done what you did to us"- Arushi's words rung in his ears.

He tried to concentrate harder, but of no avail when he suddenly found two familiar hands wrap him by the shoulder into a hug. It was Khala.

Immediately, a smile drew to his face and he felt a sense of peace in his heart. She kept two glasses of cold coffee on his desk.

"I had told you before, I don't like boring workaholic flat mates."

Ahaan smiled and shut down his laptop.

"Okay, Miss. Flat mate, what can I do for you?"

"Why don't we cook together, like old times?"

"Biryani!"

"Not bad, roomie."

Ahaan and Khala went to the kitchen. Khala really enjoyed her time with Ahaan, especially in the kitchen.

"Did Arushi leave?"

Khala could notice the sudden change in Ahaan's expression.

"Ahaan? Is there something I should know?"

Ahaan sighed.

"Arushi thinks I left for the US because I was selfish about my career. She thinks I had a gala time at the US leaving behind you and her."

"Any one would think the same, Ahaan. Why do you feel she would know the intention behind your actions when you haven't clarified any to her?"

"Because I believed she knew me. For a moment I felt like she didn't know me at all and I didn't know who she was."

"No, Ahaan. She knows you. She still knows you pretty well. But you cannot judge her for the grudges she holds against you. She was so little, so naïve at that point of time, so vulnerable when she had gone to your place that morning with a lot of hopes- with the hopes of seeing you, talking to you, sharing how she felt with you and all she got in return was a reply that you were gone, probably forever, to the US. She had nothing of you to hold onto for support. What do you expect a 17-year-old to feel after that?"

"I know I have wronged her Khala and that was the reason I wanted to apologize. But it ended in such a disaster."

"Ahaan. All I know is similar to how the ten years have been difficult for you to carry your grief and guilt along, it has also been the same for her. I often wonder how just to look after me, to stay strong in front of me she suppressed all of her grief and gulped it in. At 17 years of age, she knew what she wanted. She knew she wanted to make for me a life I want to live and for the live that I live now, none but she is the sole reason behind it. That day, ten years ago, it was this little girl and her anger that has blown out of proportion today because she never got the opportunity to share her feelings with anybody."

Ahaan listened to Khala silently.

"Which also makes me concerned about both of you. Both of you haven't healed, the trauma, the fear, the grief, the guilt they are all fresh in your souls which do not let you both get along well. You both must resolve your differences and move on. And to be able to resolve your differences you must first acknowledge what you, yourself feel and give it sometime to settle down. Give yourself some time to feel everything you want to feel. Don't box it in, Ahaan. Its high time."

"I can't Khala. It's like sinking into the ocean of darkness. What if I don't find a way to come back, what if the darkness surrounds me, what if I lose the little parts of myself, I hold onto."