The Chronicles of Random Writing Prompts

A Rap Battle Between Various Ancient (?) Civilizations

This chapter was made possible by @TheLegendCreator. Stay tuned to... I dunno, learn Latin?

(All the good ones were hers btw hats why all the other ones sucked fabulously)

Rome: I'm the queen of the Mediterranean, let's just get that straight. I conquered your butt, so why all the hate?

Egypt: Well I've been boppin' round since 3100BC, y'all just wittle babies compared to me!

Rome: Sure, but your glory days were gone in a snap, so why don't you just shut your little trap?

Greece: Now don't you forget about me ya copycat, I taught you everything you knew, my side was better than you, watchin' you from the East as your dear city got sacked.

Rome: True, but haha, no one remembers you.They can't see past my bling, cuz I'm the true Mediterranean queen.

Greece: That's right, it's the bling, that's all that you've got, never thought about your identity, where you really belong. Plagiarizing little gods and stories into your own, exactly which ones are yours? Surprise, nobody knows!

Rome: Now I personally take offense to that, but I defeated you at the drop of a hat. All of Europe has agreed, I am the queen of the Mediterranean sea. Carthage bowed like the pig she was; the Gauls, to me, were just bits of fuzz. And don't forget my language daughters—French, Spanish, and all the others, you keep goin like this? They're gonna be throwin' fists.

China: Dear Queen, look no further, the end of your journey is near. It's strange how your conquest ended at only Egypt, when there was so much more in the farther lands of mine. Was it fear? Was it weakness? Only you know the truth deep inside. Your rise and fall, I have seen it all, so perhaps you shall come and face the power of mine. Every bit of history you shall witness for yourself, from the eyes of the emperor of the endless East. (POV: When you have to diss someone politely in a freaking rap battle bc Confucius)

Rome: Ah, you see, you are not near my territory, so I left you to my daughterGreat Britain, by her you were slaughtered- And she didn't stop there, oh no—She continued until she had Tokyo.

Rome: And "emperor of the endless East"? Don't make me laugh!We both know that Russia is even more vast. And who defeated you both?Oh no, not me—Remember America's adopted twin sister?Yes, Japan, she whipped you both into shape and tied your mouth shut with duct tape!

Britain: Don't forget about me! Yes, China, remember me? I'm the one that gave to you the very drugs that turned you blue. Opium was your downfall, your emperor was your undoing, so shut up druggie, before your brain finishes unglueing

China: Little boy, humility is of the essence, hold respect for your elders in case of their recurrence, a mere 400 years powered by ugly machines, smoking and polluting like no one has seen. A single feast of yours can feed hundreds and more, a bastard child with with not a bit of lore.

Rome: Ur mom(TLC: This was double dog dared by my favorite cousin, I had no choice-)

China: wut eh watever

China: 知己知彼，百戰不殆- Those were the words, our strategy brought order amongst nations with peace galore. That upstart French soldier brought that time to its end, the fire spreading across oceans like never before. So which do you want? To try your hand once more? I'll let you know that Hong Kong is no longer yours.

Rome: I hate to do this, but you leave me no choice. 

Japan: Knock knock, who's there?Definitely not victory for you!When was the last time you won a fightYou old geezer?You brag that you can huff, puff, blow the house down—But really, you're the weakest aroundIt doesn't matter if Hong Kong is mine or notAt the end of the day, everyone loves me moreSo go sit in that corner and brag to the wall'Cause that's the only person that'll believe you at all.

China: How disheartening, you must sympathize, from when your city fell to barbarian tribes. You say the Gaul were bits of fuzz, yet the Goths blew your great empire right off the throne, and that was the last the world saw of what was once known as Rome.

America: Howdy can I join-

Everyone: NO. GO AWAY.

dee end