I cried even more as I saw the look on Ly's face.
I didn't want to share her with anyone so I came up with this plan and I really thought it would work. I thought I could sleep with Aly because she was a part of Alyssa but she's still Alyssa. I would still be with my girlfriend.
After making love with Ly several times this past week, my time with Aly today made me realize it wasn't the case at all. Even if it's the same face, the same body, it really wasn't the same person.
Ly loved me gently, honestly, and sincerely. Aly touched me with lust and malice. When I look at her eyes, I cannot see any trace of the woman that I love. But I still wanted to go through with it, because in my head, I would rather it still be me than other women. I would rather know that Alyssa's safe with me than be worried for her safety when Aly's out there.
And yet, it all still felt wrong.
"Anong sinasabi mo, Mika?" Ly asked again.
So, I told her. I told her the plan and why I did it, and she listened. She didn't judge or get angry.
"Akala ko 'yun 'yung best for us," I said solemnly. "Yet, I feel like I'm in a relationship with two people and I'm cheating on you!"
Ly wrapped her arms around me as I cried even harder.
"It would be easier if you loved us both and we both love you, too. But Aly said she wouldn't fall in love again," Ly said sadly.
I wiped my eyes as I moved back to look at her.
"Again? What do you mean?"
Ly avoided my gaze before taking a deep breath. Then, she took my hands in hers and stared at me again.
"We had an ex-girlfriend that we fell in love with. And I say we because Aly loved her as much as I did. Aly used to play a sport and she was Aly's teammate-"
Ly suddenly stopped talking and I saw how her eyes changed.
"I think that's too much information. Go home and talk some other time," Aly drawled as she tried to stand up but I held onto her hands.
"Bring Ly back," I demanded. "It's her story to tell, too."
"Sweetheart, you might not like what you're going to hear. You weren't the first and definitely not the only one in Ly's life," she said with an irritatingly sweet voice.
My heart pounded. They both fell in love with the same woman? This woman loved them both? Even Aly? I needed to know more.
"I am the only one NOW," I countered. "I plan to keep it that way. Give me back, Ly!"
She smirked at me. "Fine. Entertain me."
Alyssa blinked a few times before focusing on me.
"What the hell?!" It felt like she was addressing Aly than me. She frowned and seemed to be having an internal argument for a few minutes before she shook her head and faced me again.
"Sorry about that," Ly said. "Aly doesn't like bringing up the past. A lot changed because of what happened with Dennise."
Dennise. I definitely kept that information stored safely in my head.
"You said she was Aly's teammate?" I tried going back to the conversation earlier.
"Yes," Ly sighed. "And she was my classmate. She thought it was cool how different I am while playing and when I'm not playing. She didn't know about Aly but she said she loved both sides of me."
I didn't like the soft smile that grazed her lips and the nostalgic look in her eyes, as if she was longing to go back to that time.
I cupped her face with my hands and gave her a searing kiss, needing her to remember that she has me now.
She was surprised but returned the kiss as eagerly. When we broke apart, she met my glare with a sheepish look.
"It was all in the past, Babe. I don't love her anymore-"
"You better not!" I hissed.
She chuckled before giving me a peck.
"And I don't think Aly does, too. But unknowingly, she accepted and loved Aly. It doesn't happen often, so she would always be different for Aly," Ly continued. "Pero 'yun din 'yung dahilan kung bakit sobra kaming nasaktan noong sinabi namin sa kaniya ang totoo at hindi niya natanggap. She broke up with us and told us to stay away from her."
I felt inexplicable anger for that woman. How could she reject and hurt Alyssa like that? Well, her loss was my gain.
Though there was another part that was difficult for me to understand. How did this woman love Aly? I must be missing something.
"Is that why Aly's like that now? Did she use to be kinder, like you?"
"Aly's like that because of her and because of me," Ly admitted. "After the whole fiasco, I made decisions that Aly didn't like. She became more violent and out of control. Kasalanan ko rin. I'll explain next time, but we need to talk about what happened earlier first."
I nodded. It was too much to process. But I still had to confirm something.
"Wait. So, you're okay if I sleep with Aly? Or if I, although I don't see it happening, start to like her?" I asked carefully.
"I honestly don't know how to feel about it," Ly sighed. "Of course, it's not okay if you're forcing yourself and if you don't want to do it. Hindi rin okay sakin na gagamitin ka ni Aly to satisfy her needs. I don't remember being jealous of Aly noong time namin with Den. Honestly, I just felt happy and relieved back then that someone saw us and loved us for who we were. So, yeah, I guess I wouldn't mind if you and Aly would like each other a little bit more."
My heart went out to Ly and even Aly. They just wanted to be accepted and loved. It wasn't too hard to do. Okay, maybe it's hard to love Aly, but maybe I'm also being harsh on her. Maybe we really did start on the wrong foot. Maybe there was something I wasn't seeing.
"Aly and I," Ly said softly. "We're different, but we are one. It already means the world to me that you accept her existence, Mika, and if you do or don't learn to love her along the way, I wouldn't hold it against you."
I don't know about loving Aly, but I sure as hell can try to have a better relationship with her. If it means keeping them, especially Ly to myself, it wouldn't hurt to try.
-
-
"Take a chance?" Aly laughed, once Mika left and we were alone in our room.
"What do you have to lose? Iba siya kay Den. I'm sure you can see it, too," I argued.
"Yeah, she's stupid. Any smart and sensible person would run away from us."
"She's not stupid. She cares. She loves me enough to take a chance on both of us. If you fall in love with her-"
"I will stop you right there, Ly. Falling in love is also not something you force onto someone. And I don't plan to fall in love again. If and when she breaks your heart, I will be the strong one to keep us together."
"She wouldn't break our heart."
"Not mine. There wouldn't be an opportunity."
I groaned. Aly was so stubborn. But she was right, I couldn't force them to fall in love. Even if that would make all these easier for the three of us.
"But she's interesting, I will give you that," Aly said before disappearing for the night.
END OF CHAPTER.
-
Author's notes: Kaya kaya weekly update? Abangan HAHAHAHA
