The Winner Takes It All

Chapter Seven | Running Liar

No one enjoyed running and anyone who said otherwise was a liar. There were only two benefits of running for me. Firstly, it helped with stamina for a football game and secondly, I usually outran my problems that were running circles in my mind. Can't have any thoughts if you're busy concentrating on a stitch or sore muscles.

I usually enjoyed running in the morning before school when there was enough activity that it wasn't creepy and deserted. Most days were joined by Easton. We would run around the block and somehow Easton always managed to do one more lap than me. One time we were both late for school since neither one of us wanted to call quits. Our parents found out and we learnt our lesson quickly.

There were only rare moments when I dragged myself out on the weekend. Sometimes it is simple to pinpoint the moment the stress started, other times, not so much. The only way to let go was my steady footfall as I got further and further away from the stress.

I needed to be honest with myself and the truth is never a fun place to visit.  There first were the nightmares of a watery grave. That was old news and it didn't need a rocket scientist to figure out the trigger.

The other stress factor comes from a far more common and general issue: daddy issues.

Just like many young girls out there, my first heartbreak, started at home when the man who was supposed to love and support me unconditionally is in fact the biggest disappointment. I wish I was like like Hafsa, whose loving father was there for her. Even Kim whose father was still around even on a part-time basis.

Instead, I had a gaping hole in my life that nothing could fill. It started off as a pothole when my parents separated but then slowly became a sinkhole.

The holidays turned into nightmares and the nightmares became silence by a burnt bridge. And every once in a while I walk past that burnt bridge where my mother hands me tools and tells me to rebuild it.

I've read all the Reddit posts. The rebuilding is not my responsibility. I've been for therapy. His absent behaviour is not my fault. I believed it all. The truth was right there.

But why does it still hurt?

I paused running, to give my burning lungs a chance to recover. The physical pain brought me out of my emotional torment. It still wasn't enough so I started running around the block again.

Around and around I went. The familiar pathway where I could point out every crack and crooked slate. I was so focused on my surroundings that I took a double take when I saw Easton loitering outside the house on my side of the road. He was dressed in his running shorts and vest that I was used to seeing on the weekday morning, not on the weekend.

"Are you running from the devil?" He asked.

"Are you calling yourself the devil now?" I replied between gasps. There was no point in being embarrassed about my current state. I had lost track of how long I had been running, yet it still wasn't long enough.

"If I was the devil, I would be running away from you, Mia." He smiled as his own insult, handing me a bottle of water.

"I'm taking that as a compliment." I gulped down the bottle of water. Passing out from dehydration was not the plan. I just didn't want to go home yet.

"Of course, you would." He rolled his eyes, "How far have you ran?"

We both downloaded an app that keeps track of how much you run when I was still trying to outdo him. It was a wise lesson to learn but there were some things that I would just lose one too many times.

"I deleted that app."

"Liar."

"Oh look at the time, break time is over." I pointed at my watch and started jogging, knowing he would either go home or follow. He followed, allowing me to set the pace.

I was ready to return to my mind when Easton disturbed me, "I can help you download the app again." 

"There's no need." We both knew the app was still on my phone. I just avoided sharing my distance with him which would annoy him way more. That worked out in my favour without giving him the chance to gloat at how he outran me once again.

"But I know you struggle to download apps without Adam's help." When Adam was younger, he took my phone and downloaded every single game app he could find until my storage was full when I left my phone unattended. We only found out an hour later when he came to complain that he couldn't get a new game and everyone realised he had memorised my passwords.

"The same way you struggle to tie your shoelaces without Paige's help?"

"That was one time! She just wanted to practice." She really did want to practice. After she was allowed her first laced shoes, she went around showing everyone her shoelace tying skills to make sure her parents knew how responsible and grown-up she was.

"That's not what she told me." I prefer concentrating on the part about her being responsible and grown up.

"She was lying."

"Your innocent sister a liar? I don't see it, but you on the other hand..."

"I'm just as innocent," he protested but was distracted by a message before he could give a thorough speech on his so-called innocence.

He started sprinting, "Mum made lemonade and cookies. Last one to my house is a big loser!"

"That's not fair!" I sprinted in the opposite direction, knowing it was closer to his house than the way he was taking. There was no way I was going to be the big loser.

~*~

Thank you for all the love and support this week <3