stobotnik

depressing nightfall

i am soo sorry for my unproducticity and horrible story plot + writing i am so unmotivated and tired of veeryhitng without a therapist ok thank you so much for waiting i hope i am doing my best for you

~

ivos pov

He knows.

He knows.

I know he knows. I just know he knows.

I slowly blossomed my hand out of Stone's grip. He stood there, just watching me. I aggressively wiped the liquid flowing from my eyes. I was... crying? What? That's not possible. It shouldn't be. Stone let out a small sigh. As he was about to leave, I tried to think of something to snap at him. "Stone," I said sternly. I turned around to face him. He wasn't looking at me, he just stopped at the doorway. "Thank you. Let us never speak of this again, for now." I turned back to the studies after watching the pretty man leave for my satisfactory.

I think I like Stone. I think? Maybe. I never felt romantic attraction. Just witnessed it. But I feel uneasy and flustered when Stone is around. I grew to his smile, his empathy, his everything. I became a bit softer because of that. But absolutely not completely. Just, slightly. 

~

I genuinely felt drowsy. I haven't slept and extremely high on caffeine for the past few days, overestimating my health and how much it could take. I could just feel how concerned Stone is. That's how predictable he is. I didn't care. I just couldn't do much of how much episodes and flashes are in my mind. I felt weak. A tad vulnerable. Luckily, I have a stupidly precious agent to literally babysit me in times. 

"Doctor?" We were pulling an all nighter. It hurt, but it hurts more that I'm giving the pressure to someone else. But why should I care? He's just an agent. My agent. I heavily think we should take a break soon, but there's no time. "Please rest soon. I don't think you should have this much caffeine." I didn't pay attention to Stone. I was too busy attempting to calculate apparently. 

"Sure, Stone." I mumbled. 

I hated how everybody underestimate me. Saying it's amazing so I don't give a description. Helping me just for their own good. Not realizing what I am capable of, making them slack off their own job they desired. I'm doing what the government wants. Why can't they truly realize that? Oh, because I'm a mad scientist who is insane and self-centered. It hurt so much that I had to make myself believe that in order to fulfill my potential. I could take over the world if I wanted to. But guess what? I don't. I didn't. Why? 

Because of him. You know. The latte guy? Hmph.

~

stone pov ugh im sorry my back hurts

My mind was flurring. 

It hurt. It hurts so much. Why did I love this man? It's like he poisoned me. He did. Having a firm grip on his hand is just to stop stress. I wish it meant more than that. Is he trying to romance me? It's working. Really well that it's bad. What? I'm going more insane than him. I dozed into the unique interior and built-in architecture with my thoughts. Help, help me. Why does he grab me by my mouth? Is he pissed or am I horny? A masochist? No way. Wait, what?

"Stone!" someone snapped at me. My head fringed. That scared the shit out of me. I was about to hit whoever said that. "Focus. Now, you see here, ..."

Yaba yaba yee doo. Like I wanted to give a fuck about what he's talking about. I was multi-tasking. Multi-hearing. The doctors deep American voice, and my overthinking thoughts that could and would kill me. I don't care. My mind was bothering my head physically. Can I go home? I want to cry and sob with my cats. My cats are cute. 

"Stone!" I snapped back to reality. He raised his voice higher than before which almost made me cry from a previous episode. "You know what, if you don't want to listen to me you can get your half-brained ass out of MY lab! You know I give efforts and fucks into trusting you, but you may as well be as the same as those other shitty agents who slack off and are worth as much as rags on trashed streets!"

I felt a liquid streaming down my eyelids, dripping down my jawline. My stomach felt queasy. Hands trembling. Did he mean it? Or was he angry and stressed? Both maybe? Other than that, I was sent out by him. My head spun. That actually hurt if I acknowledge it. Comparing me to bullshit agents when I was truly there for him. I cried. The lab doors slammed behind me. 

He meant it? That hurt. A lot. At the time I was extremely sensitive to yelling. I cared a lot of what others think. But when it came to my only friend? Shit. I messed up. I'm sorry. I really am. I'll improve there. The tears fell down faster. I curled my hand into a fist out of anger, mixed emotions I hadn't really felt because of the Doctor. I still stood in front of the door. I guess I could go home. I really need my cats. I threw my watch on the floor right in front of the lab doors. I quietly walked to the Mean Bean. I fetched latte ingredients out of stress and overthinking. 

I filled the wide mug. I decided to doodle a little Eggman face. I left it like that. Not even on the serving counter. Just the counter I made it on. It was dark. I decided to leave for at least one day. I felt way too overwhelmed and stressed. I hated loud voices. I hated strong insults. I hated when people think negative of me. It hurts. I'm just a small agent, maybe a bit with feelings. I wish people knew that. I got out of the establishment and started my car. I don't want to see this place at the moment.

~

I sighed, rubbing the inner core of my eyes. His trembling voice hurt. Why should I care? "S-..Sorry. Sir. I'm sorry." He choked on his words. I fiddled at the ends on my mustache, knowing that I yelled to the one and only person who probably... Well, cared about me. I knew Stone had a weak spot. Not when I punched him when he was widely open, but emotionally, as well. You had to know that. He is annoying. Stupid. Precious. Other than that, really deep down I regret yelling at him. I don't know where he is, but I doubt he will want to see my face. 

He better come. I really hope he does. 

I cracked my fingers, writing down and explaining detail by detail on this high-class quality assignment I was supposed to explain to Stone. My fingers felt numb. It was another all nighter. By myself. That wasn't and shouldn't be common. But it's bound to be. I guess it should be. My head hurt. I looked at my watch, squinting at the 3:58 A.M. I rubbed my eyes hard, with no latte present. No caffeine to stay awake. The bright screen hurt my eyes. I continued writing for a while. Something felt missing. Someone was missing. I tried to push it away, but it hurt. Did I have to yell at him? 

I hate to admit it, but I find myself in a difficult position without him.