Parichay: Only The Heart Knows | Mayakkam Enna

Am I a Joke?

Siddhi's POV: What just happened was either a dream or end of something that i thought Kunal shared with me. While the first one could be a more convienient, the reality was different. When Kunal came over to my house to talk for our marriage the next day Anand died, i wanted to ... well do something in return that would remind him that im still his brother's fiance whether he is alive or dead, but he gave no opportunity or necessity. That  day I didnt want to get married to him, or get a job at Thakral whom i hated, nor be in a situation that im in today but,  im doing it and yet this man wont understand a simple thing why, because its love damn it.

Kunal: Siddhi? there? You are completely fine by my decision right?

Siddhi's pov: either he has some guts or really he wants me off his life or maybe both

Siddhi: Well ( no is an option but like everytime Siddhi goes Siddhi) yes.

Kunal: uuuuf, im feeling better i thought you would protest. Good night

Siddhi had neither a good night nor some sleep, she kept stumbling on one point why? She has proved herself as a good sister, friend, daughter-in-law, lawyer, maybe a bit of lover in past, but not a wife and only time will say that she is not the one at fault.

The sun was up early and so was Kunal but Siddhi was not even close to her sleep.

Kunal: Siddhi!! Why do you look like you haven't slept?

Siddhi: Because I havent

Kunal: Kya hua? Why?.. wait are you..(cuts in)

Siddhi: I was just thinking about Shilpa, that she might be leaving.

Kunal: Oh thats a relief

Siddhi: Now even other women leaving makes you happy, isnt it?

Kunal: no!! not like that, i mean the reason for your sleeplessness.

Siddhi: Why else would I lose my sleep? over you?

Kunal: mm nothing in particular. Shall we leave? I have somethings to take care of.

Siddhi: Since Shilpa will be going to Paris after marriage i thought, why dont i spend sometime with her before marriage.

Kunal: Yeah, but I will be sort of alone since no one is at home now but..(cuts in)

Siddhi: oh, that could be your rehersal for your delhi job, wouldnt it? And the best part is you will know how to survive alone. Great thanks.

Kunal: Thanks for what?

Siddhi: ofcourse! For supporting my decision

Kunal: When did i say yes to it?

Siddhi: I thought we make our own decisions ( and she left to make her own coffee)

Shilpa: Jiju..( hugs him) how was your sleep?

Kunal: well! it was so peacefull that i was hearing laughter sound from the next room, so should i ask what was that giggle about?

Shilpa(blushes):  awwww.. Why do people fear you? I dont get it, you are a complete charmer, arent you? Now i know why Siddhi is so tight lipped about your romance.

Kunal: mere romance chodo, I heard the honeymoon is gonna brew in Paris for someone

Shilpa: aap naa.. thank god you told about brewing, i left Siddhi's coffee on stove.

Siidhi and Kunal sit over coffee while Shilpa is on her phone away

Kunal: Hey! I didnt know that you like coffee, i never saw you having coffee at home

Siddhi: Well nobody seemed to drink coffee so i thought ( cuts in..)

Kunal: Oh lazy, arent you?

Siddhi: Have you ever fetched a glass of water since i came to the room of yours?

Kunal: Ofcourse daily to drink

Siddhi: Not from the table next to your bed or study table, have you ever fetched it from kitchen?

Kunal: well actually no

Siddhi: Or have you ever, even once seen it empty despite the number of times you drink?

Kunal: Not that i could remember of? I mean why are you asking me?

Siddhi: Because this lazy wife of yours does it daily.

Kunal: uh uh ho, Is this some kind of cold war with me? Or some mood swings, what am i getting into?

Siddhi: Does the difference matter to you?

Kunal: Well clearly not the way i wanted the day to be, so i will move the other way. Stay here as long as you want, i assume every wife needs a break

Siddhi: (oh i never played that part) bye,  i think that is the word you were looking for.

Kunal: Siddhi! are you fine? Are you mad at me?

Siddhi: No! actually im grateful in a way. Im mad at me Kunal, look at me I dont recognize the women i have become, I dont remember my taste that i had before marriage. All that i know, remember or think about is you, your preferences, your family, your choices and your life. A'int it sad? but you shouldnt be because i made that choice and you would'nt understand it why.

Kunal: Siddhi! enough, its not like I dont know how to be mad at but i simply chose to be quiet. AND that doesnt mean that i will remain like that.

Siddhi: Never, never hold back your anger. You should infact today tell me why you  are mad at me, atleast i will know what I lack? Give this poor woman a reason

Kunal: Enough,let it go

Siddhi: Oh, not today. I know you always wanted to let things go off and I have done so but guess today is not your day. I have not hated any man like you when I married you, but the moment i married you I promised myself that I would not wrong you. I respected you despite your unreasonable behaviour towards me, I stood there waiting every night to fetch you a glass of water. Somewhere I forced myself to be the woman who you would like, a mute one. But something that i didnt see coming was you, i couldnt just stop there. I had respect for you, then a small friendship, a companionship and then it turned into love, but just for me. I fell into love with my husband, how sad and the histories have treated affairs with more dignity than my love for you.

You knew it very well Kunal, dont you? You knew that I loved you from the beginning yet you ignored me. Why? because of Anand? Its my past Kunal I cant do anything about it, I have been dealing with it for the past one year. I'm married to his brother, I talk with his family member and now Anand itself. I loved him in the past, and truly . He doesnt shout like you, nor forgets my birthday or leave me on road for yet another case. Despite all if given a chance to choose between you and Anand I will always chose you Kunal but again you wont. I will look like a complete fool, dont i right now? Believe me i didnt want to love you, but i couldnt, i resisted it for months but when no one is around you were there to share my loneliness, you gave me the tissues to wipe my tears despite being the reason of it.  I fell in love with the man who was rude outside, who would burst like boiling oil, the man everyone feared  because i knew that man was not who he potrayed to be, it was his way of showing love, letting know that he cares for the family, the family that I was never part of.