From My Ear To Your Lips

The Flow

"I assume you know why I called you to speak to me after class?" Mrs. Sentner asked. 

I nodded shamefully. How could I forget?

"You're doing good in all of your other classes. I see that you took APUSH and AP Lit this year. Along with AP Statistics, you have been taking four AP courses this year."

I nodded once more. 

"But it appears that Biology is a reoccurring pattern for you. You didn't do so well your freshman year did you?"

"No ma'am" I murmured. 

Mrs. Sentner took off her glasses and wiped them. Dear God, is this the part where she tells me I need a tutor? I thought. Maybe I'm the main character in my story and I'll have some hottie as my tutor. Then I would have love and success and rich and ...

"I'm going to be blunt with you Ash, you're failing," Mrs. Sentner sighed. 

"Failing?" I exclaimed. "My grade isn't that bad."

"I don't know if you noticed, but this isn't your regular high school Ashlyn. This is Briggs Acadamy, anything below a 70 is considered a failing grade."

Screw this school and their stupid need for high academic scores. 

"Fine, I accept it, I'm not doing so good," I admitted. "But what do you expect me to do? Find a tutor?"

Say yes, say yes, say yes, say yes, say yes, say yes, say yes, say yes. 

"No."

What the shit. 

"You have far too much on your plate right now. Winter break is in two days, that's three whole weeks for yourself. Don't worry about school and relax" Mrs. Sentner stated. "I know that you really love having order in your life, so I have composed a list of fun classes that you can take to destress. There is a music theory class, woodshop, dance, digital art. Ooh, and the festival! There's one coming up in you area, I'm not sure if you're interested but it has something to do with ALS! What no that's the disease that Stephen Hawking had. Regardless if has something do with American Sign Language ... "

Taking a break? Relaxing? That is the worst idea I've ever heard. 

"So Ash, what do you think?"

I have this problem. When it comes to me and the authorities I just can't back down. There was a time when I admitted to stealing a snickers bar from a grocery store to a security officer. The only problem was that it wasn't me who stole it, it was my friend. 

Or someone who I thought was my friend. After what happened ... I don't know anymore. 

Regardless, I just cant say no. So how did I respond to Mrs. Sentners question? I raised my head and looked in her eyes. Or at least tried to. I nodded my head and I felt my throat close to start the word yes. 

But I can't just stop what I'm doing in life. I have plans, I want, no need to succeed. I need to. 

But it never matters what I want, I just went with the flow while every atom in my body protested. I am insignificant in comparison to the great plan that has be laid out for me. So I'll just go with the flow. Ill sit in these waves and let it carry me, that is until I drown.