We Fell In Love In October : JakeHoon

Special Chapter Four

Special Chapter Four

When we both thoughts everything was falling into its pieces. It started to fall apart as another tragedy of love decided to hunt us and be bestowed on us.—The following days with Jake were like living in a vivid dream. No, it's better than dreams.

We talked about ourselves and decided to try all the way; two hearts became one. Officially setting aside what was outside October or what was waiting for the both of us when October passed.

I could still clearly remember how we were both in tears that night, how my chest was clasping so hard and rats digging as fear flared into my system, on 'what if he doesn't want to try?' Questions and scenarios in my head.

I'm just so thankful to Jake that he gave me a chance. He chose to trust me and see the end together, what and where this 'feeling of like' would bring us to.

But, God. He seems to have another plan for us... I was just sitting there, soul leaving my body as my heart broke... we were supposed to be enjoying the last day together, but I made him worried sick and brought me to the doctor.

I know my condition has worsened. It's been a long when my knees started aching each day, deteriorating until I couldn't bear it anymore. It got to a point I needed to wrap it in a comforter when it was cold and bit something to prevent myself from screaming at night couldn't stand the pain crawling to my head.

I went to the hospital secretly a few times, and they all told me the same thing, rest it, rehabilitation and surgery. They prescribed me medicines, I tried everything, tablets, capsules, topicals, patches, and even injections, but nothing worked.

I listened to them tell me how my knees started to be hopeless after several city scans, examinations, and casting my knee.

"You'll need surgery as soon as possible." The doctor said. Jake was outside the room waiting, worrying for me, wishing I'd be well and sound.

That absurdly hurts more, knowing he'll be through more than this by just being by my side and still choosing to keep him. It was making me feel so sinful and guilty.

I know he'll go through this, what I fear all this time, yet I let it happen, and It's now happening in front of my eyes.

"The tear starting to spread, and it makes your knees weak. There will be a time it won't be able to support your weight, it will give up on you, and you will start to feel severe pain. No, I know you already did. It is impossible still not to. As it tears more, it will be more unbearable. Even a pain reliever won't do anything." He said with concern in his voice.

"Is there no other way? What if I refused to do the surgery?" I asked him, looking at my casted knee, I know it would take not only months but could be years and I don't want Jake to suffer with me that long.

I feel blank; I feel nothing... I don't know how it became possible to feel and think like this, but my emotions seem to leave me. I guess this is what it feels when you are too fed up with the world or perhaps when the world chooses to turn its back on you.

"Then you'll have your leg amputated..: that's the worst case that could happen to you." He replied, honest as a doctor should be...

"The success rate?" I asked next, he just look at me and the results of my knees, "At most, if you get the best doctors for yourself, At least 70 percent," he said, "Your case, this is not the usual case of every athlete," he replied... "It's beyond complicated, There's a chance you can't walk again even if you get the surgery."

After the doctor left, tears fell. My heart hurt, it did more than my knees did, and that kept tears from falling. I cupped my face with bare hands to hide the tears and starting sobs from coming out.