Boys are idiots. They're full of germs and they're weird and they can be really, really cute and funny and-...
Beep. Scuba diver Greene, reporting for duty tomorrow. Beep.
Fuck you, Greene.
Fuck. You.
I hate him. He can go rot in a hole for all I care. He could... he could fall off a cliff into the ocean, where sharks are waiting. Hungry sharks. And I wouldn't care. He could run out of oxygen from his imaginary scuba gear and drown.
Must not let any citizens drown.
Greene, I don't think you meant water. I think you meant something completely different.
"I don't want to drown, either," I whisper to my silent room.
Back to my rant.
He could get run over by a car and I wouldn't care. He could get shot by a police officer and I wouldn't care. He could... he could...
Oh, you wouldn't care? Then why have you been smiling at your ceiling like a freaking idiot for the past ten minutes?
I scowled. My inner mind is like Marty- it won't shut up.
When the glass plate shattering had been heard by Alex, I felt those hard walls, those stones and bricks held together by anger and fury, just crumble away, stripped down. I had locked Mary-Anne in the bathroom when she looked like she was gonna get her mood swing again, but I completely forgot we had old china plates in there for display. I kept meaning to take them down, since Mary-Anne said she hated them. She was too freaking lazy to do it herself, though.
I guess she wasn't lazy this time. They're gone now.
I sighed and closed my eyes, feeling the cloak of darkness creep across the sky. I swallowed and felt tears in my eyes. I can't be a cardinal tonight. I just can't. I might seriously damage myself beyond repair and I might have to go to a doctor. And I can't do that. The moment they see my scars they'll know. Then everyone'll know. Our town isn't the biggest, and word spreads easily. Very, very easily. And quickly.
I squeezed my eyes shut as I pulled the razor and knife from the drawer. Then I dropped them and kicked them under my bed. Fight it. Fight it. Fight. It.
Going to the bathroom, I slipped my clothes off and stepped inside the shower. It was a tiny shower, with a rusty turner thing and cracked walls. I didn't like it one bit, but it had to do.
As the water trickled down my skin, I let my fingers gently touch my cardinal marks. The water became slightly red. Blood pooled around the drain and choked it. My fingers traveled down my arm, down my side, and to my hips. More cardinal marks. More drain choking.
Die drain. Ddddiiiieeee.
"GIRL!" Mary-Anne screamed, pounding against the bathroom door. "HURRY UP! YOU'RE WASTING WATER!"
I swallowed down the bitterness in my throat. "I- I'm almost done!"
Turning off the water flow, I stepped out and wrapped myself up in a towel. Mary-Anne had gone back to her room, muttering under her breath. Feeling blood trail down my skin, I quickly hurried to my room, bandaged up, and got dressed in a baggy tee and shorts.
Diving under the covers and pulling the sheets over my head, I tried to ignore the fact that my cardinal beaks were just below this mattress. I gritted my teeth, squeezing my eyes shut and clenching my fingers.
"Hurry up, scuba diver," I whispered. "Please, hurry up."
***
He did hurry up. In fact, I was still in bed when he knocked.
