Kind Of Woman (Mirage Era: Part 1)

It Would Be Difficult To Let You Go

Chateau d'Houerville
"The Honkey Chateau"
Houerville, France
Tuesday, November 10, 1981
4:00 am
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Stevie could see the lightning striking from where she stood on the sand. Robin was waving to her from just about ten yards away in the Pacific Ocean, all of the Santa Monica Pier to her left, closed except for one small hot dog stand. Their lights were on but no one seemed to be working the counter. The loudest clap of thunder Stevie had ever heard roared across the sky and there was more lightning, but Robin didn't seem to care. She was floating away in her black and red bikini, the one she had worn on her honeymoon to Barbados that Kim told her she looked great in. 

"You're going to get stuck out there in the rain!" Stevie yelled across the distance, but Robin either hadn't heard or didn't care. "Get out of the water! Let's go get a hot dog like back in the day!"

Robin just waved and continued to float. More thunder sounded and Stevie was afraid now. She could feel her heart pounding and she yelled out, "Robin! Don't float away! Damn it, you're going to get washed out to sea!"

No response. Tears sprang to her eyes just as the rain began to pour down over the beach, soaking the sand and the pier and falling all over the tiny speck of black and red in the water that was her best friend, and Stevie decided to go in after her. She tried lifting her feet...but she was stuck in the sand. Nothing moved. Rain was pouring on her and saturating the Bella Donna shawl and she wondered why she'd worn it to the beach...and how she could keep Robin from floating away.

"Robin! I have the shawl! Come in and I'll cover you...it's freezing in the rain! You're going to get hypothermia out there!"

Nothing. She could barely make her out at all now, and the rain was making it harder for her to see anything at all anymore. Her feet frozen in the sand, she sank to her knees, the dark blue shawl balled up in her arms as she held it like a baby...and then it was a baby boy. Whose baby was this? Why was he out in the rain? Stevie was sobbing now, tears mingling with the raindrops on her face, and she screamed now, "Come back! Whose baby is this? Robin, don't leave me! I don't know what to do with him or who he is...Robin, don't float away! Don't float away..."

The tiny speck was gone. Suddenly the lights at the hot dog stand in the distance went out, and Stevie was alone in the sand with a baby boy in her Bella Donna shawl, sobbing and calling out helplessly, "Robin, don't float away...don't float away..."

She looked down at the baby in her arms but it was just the shawl now...the mysterious baby boy was gone as quickly as he came. All she could do was sit in the sand and cry, thunder and lightning all around, getting pelted with rain and whimpering, "Don't float away..."

Stevie sprung up from the pillow suddenly, and it took her a few seconds to realize the scream that had woken her up was her own. There were tears streaming down her face, she felt the sweat pooling beneath her bangs, and she was trembling, which was crazy because goddamn it, this place was so hot...and there was no oxygen, apparently, because she couldn't catch her breath...or was that because she couldn't stop crying? And was that knock at her door real or a dream?

"Stevie?" Lindsey's panicked voice called from behind the door, and then he was in the room, closing the door behind him and racing to her side on the bed. She didn't look at him; she was staring straight ahead, frozen, her knees pressed against her chest as she sat trembling, tears falling from her eyes. Lindsey brought his hand to her bare shoulder, feeling the strap of the pink silk nightgown and remembering it from a few years back...Tusk tour. Missouri. The night they were filmed singing "Angel" together into one microphone and she smiled at him when he touched her head over her beret. He tried again. "Stephanie?"