This is all we've got

Chapter five: if they asked, you would be there

Tears weren't difficult after that. It felt natural like Sixteen had been held in suspension over this for so long and now finally she knew where exactly things stood. That they really had drifted apart and that there was no more need to wait.

She supposed that all along, every time she'd gone to the library and sat in his old spot, she'd been waiting on the off chance he'd come back and sit next to her like before.

Her feet led her back to the library although this time she couldn't bring herself to sit down so she wandered aimlessly. It was a rather big library after all, but she knew that eventually she'd walk through it all, that there would be an end somewhere. There was always an end to things, whether you liked it or not.

Sixteen supposed she was mourning a little. It was kind of pathetic, but she hated feeling so lonely. Being left behind felt horrible.

She eventually collapsed somewhere empty, out of sight of the main library area. She was crying when Kyung found her again. By that point, she wasn't really sure what she was crying over. Being an extra, she wasn't used to such intense emotions and hurt and so her confrontation with Haru had caught her off guard. In her tiny stream of existence, it was a lot. Maybe it was also some of her loneliness catching up with her, some sadness mixed in with some hopelessness, leaving her with a headache as she cried hard. She was all hiccupy breathes and snot that threatened to drop down her lip and sleeves that were soaked from repeatedly rubbing her eyes, leaving them red and raw.

She wasn't a very pretty sight when she noticed him standing there at the other end of the small corridor between two tall bookshelves, blocking out the light as he watched her sniff and cry.

The next thing she was aware of was a familiar plastic packet hitting her cheek followed by a curse and a muttered apology as he drew closer into a crouch by her side. Kyung sighed as she just tearfully held out the tissues back to him. Instead of taking the packet, he took out a tissue from her hand and used it to carefully mop up her face even as she jerked with each ugly hiccup.

"What a mess," he tutted as finished only for more tears to fall and ruin his work. The next tissue he took out, he gave directly to her. "For the love of- Just blow your nose."

Not wanting to make him mad, she did as he said and blew her nose embarrassingly loudly although she was too emotionally drained from crying to properly feel the embarrassment. She jumped a little when she felt a hand on her head and realised he was petting her, however awkwardly and stilted the well-meant gesture was executed.

Surprisingly enough, she found that somewhere after he'd shown up, her tears had stopped. Maybe she'd finally cried everything out.

She snuck a glance at him to gauge his mood and found him looking at her with an uncertainty that mimicked her own.

"I can go if you need space."

Sixteen shook her head.

"Do you... want to talk about it?"

Sixteen broke into a watery laugh at the hesitance and almost disgust with which he had asked.

"Not really."

Kyung hummed in response and sat down where he was crouching.

"Do you want another tissue?"

Sixteen smiled at him, brighter than she had felt moments before because all of a sudden, she felt a little less lonely. She supposed she had just needed to get it out. Now it was over and she felt calmer than before. Especially now that Kyung was here.

She opened her mouth to reply-

Only for that damning page-turning sound to ring in her ears. She blinked and they were both gone, him somewhere and her elsewhere else.