The Obligatory Egos Swap AU - Jacksepticeye Egos

The Beginning Of The End - Part 3 (END)

A/N: slight blood mention warning but nothing too graphic!

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Jameson not talking sometimes was nothing new. Jackie understood a lot of the fear and trauma that surrounded his voice since learning he was bullied for impeded speech as a kid.

That was why in the first three weeks following Chase's death he didn't push his friend to do anything except eat, sleep (however tough that was at first), and go outside for a few minutes each day.

The first one was easy. Jameson always would eat anything he was given and somewhere in himself that hadn't changed. He may have been a bit slower but Jackie was happy so long as he got any food down at all.

The second was successful after five days, only with the expert help of Jackie's service dog Cocoa, who was trained to help with Jackie's nightmares. The chocolate lab would jump on the couch and nudge at Jameson until he let her cuddle. Eventually, he fell asleep watching tellie while Cocoa kicked his hand calmingly.

The third problem was also helped after nearly a week. Jackie would tell Jameson to go with him on Cocoa's almost hour long walks, but if Jameson needed to leave sooner and go back to their place, he could. For the most part he stayed the full way and Jackie considered it a major success.

Jackie brought two plates of pasta to the table, gesturing for Jameson to dig in.

He took small, slow bites as usual, but something in his eyes changed after a couple bites. Jackie watched Jameson eat a little more excitedly.

"It's good, right?" Jackie asked innocently as he picked up his fork to start eating as well. Cocoa lay by his feet under the table, her nose on his right shoe. "I changed my recipe a bit."

As Jackie took a bite, Jameson slowed himself again and cleared his throat. "Yeah, it's good. What did you change?"

Jackie smiled. "Peppers. I've been bringing them to work for lunch lately and thought to add them to dinner tonight. I know how much you like them."

"Well, they were a nice surprise, I've got to admit. Thank you." Jameson smiled as well, the small enough gesture increasing his mood.

The two finished their dinner and Jameson stood at the sink to wash the dishes while Jackie brought Cocoa out for her walk. He'd been happy enough with how supper had gone that he'd agreed to let Jameson stay at home for this walk since he'd already been out once, earlier in the day.

Jameson's thoughts were being let loose in his head. They'd been quiet recently but being alone made them grow louder again. He felt that being quiet himself had made everything in him quieter too, and that by speaking at supper he'd triggered the thoughts to return. And he didn't know what to do.

If he went quiet again, Jackie would just get worried. His doctor friend wasn't one to overreact to many situations and having understood the first three weeks of silence was easy. He would feel like something was of his own wrongdoing if Jameson stopped speaking again right after they'd had such a nice night. He couldn't do that to him.

He would have to deal with the thoughts alone.

Jameson was so absorbed in his thoughts that when he heard the door open it startled him so much that the plate he was gripping-the last dish from supper-broke right in his hand. Ceramic shattered into the sink and he turned toward the water to rinse his bloody hand off quickly, but it was too late. Jackie walked in and gasped, running to his side, Cocoa not far behind, her leash dragging on the floor.

"Oh, Jameson. What happened?" The Irish doctor helped with the washing while Jameson explained in the barest details possible. Jackie snuck a glance at him. "I see. Here, come to the guest room and I'll help with the leftover pieces and wrap it for you."

"It's just a few scratches, Jackie," Jameson grumbled. But when Jackie took his hand again he yelped.

"Come on," Jackie insisted. This time, Jameson couldn't fight. He wrapped his wounded hand in a towel so no more blood escaped and let his friend lead him to the guest room where he was staying.

There was a cabinet full of medical supplies in one corner of the room. He hadn't needed to touch it himself thus far, but as Jackie fixed his hand and gave him instructions on how to take care of it while alone, he realised maybe he did need a bit more help than he'd initially thought.

"So," Jackie said. He finished bandaging Jameson's hand and looked up at him as he taped the bandage shut. "I know you weren't completely honest with me in the kitchen. Mind telling me what really happened?" Sometimes it was like the doctor was a mind reader.

Jameson looked down at his hand and flexed it, wincing slightly. "Right. I... can't stop having these really bad intrusive thoughts. They went away for a while when I stopped talking. But they came back tonight. They tell me I'm the one that killed Chase. That I'm the one who deserved to be shot. That he deserved such a more heroic death than he got because he actually helps people while I'm just the sidekick, and the worst part is I believe they're right. I-"

Jackie nodded along to everything Jameson said, his face set in a neutral frown. He listened intently to everything that had been plaguing Jameson the last three weeks that he hadn't had the strength to let out verbally, and when Jameson broke and began sobbing, he brought him into his arms and consoled him as best he could without saying a word.

Not much later, Jameson woke to the sound of gentle snoring. He hadn't even realised he'd fallen asleep, but he was glad Jackie was able to find rest because from what he remembered of telling Jackie everything, it really had been /everything/. He'd poured his heart out to his friend and still Jackie had remained so calm and loving despite it all.

He looked down at his hand and flexed it again, but didn't feel any pain. Silently, he unwrapped the bandage and looked to see there was no evidence of there ever having even been cuts. He stared at it in disbelief. Since when could his magic do that? He didn't have self-healing powers of any sort...

Jackie shifted on the seat behind him and opened his eyes. They seemed a bit more blue than normal but Jameson thought that might have just been the light. "Everything okay?" Jackie asked, voice tired.

Jameson flexed his hand again. "Yeah, just- something a little weird happened."

"Oh? What?" Jameson lifted his hand to show Jackie, who smiled in return. "What's wrong with it?"

Jameson opened his mouth to respond, when he put two and two together. "You healed it?"

Jackie's smile didn't falter. "I did, yeah. I thought you could use at least that small break. That magic is no joke, though. I passed out straight after."

"Yeah, your- your eyes are still blue." Jameson stuttered. He took a closer look at Jackie's eyes. "They're fascinating."

The light blue ring around the outside of Jackie's near-sapphire eyes pulsed a bit brighter. "Thank you," he yawned.

Jameson stood fast from the couch they were sharing in his room and helped Jackie up. "Well, it's probably late enough. I'm sorry for keeping you up for so long. Have a good night."

"You seem to be rushing me out, now." Jackie frowned. "Please, tell me you'll get some sleep, too?"

"I'm going to try is all I can say," Jameson smiled. Cocoa walked in for somewhere in the hallway and immediately jumped on Jameson's bed. "Or, I presume Cocoa will make me." The dog yawned and stretched out at the foot.

"That sounds good. I'll keep the door open."

"Good night, Jackie."

Jackie smiled. "Good night, James."

Jameson fell asleep quickly, with Cocoa licking his hand calmly as usual. He turned over and pet the dog a couple of times before letting sleep take him fully.