The Place with No Return

Chapter 3 / Everything in its right place

"Partner up?" I was confused and unsure if I was meant to have friends; knowing all the bad luck I have had in the passed.
"What I'm saying is...we all have people that put us here and have tortured us. And with all of our skills...we could maybe...escape and get back at them?" Julie was suddenly serious like it was a master plan; maybe it was?
Suddenly memories of my father came back. He was reading a newspaper about a murder in our town; the same person who killed mother. All of his sadness was stored up inside his body that had turned into anger. He started to shake the newspaper, his hands holding it slowly turning into fists. His screams were full of rage and insanity but a slight bit of sadness deep within.

April 2nd 1881

The tides coming close to me,
Killing me within,
Washed out by your insanity
Get up please,

Dad,
Stop drinking on the floor,
Please get me out,
I can't deal with it anymore,

You put me in,
Now you better not come close anymore,
I don't know if I wanna hurt you,
Or leave you in the ground,
Just promise me you'll never be the same,

But I'm here now,
And I'll never be the same,
I'll find you again and then I-

I strummed the guitar. The sound was mellow and punchy like someone's shaking accent. I could not finish the final lyrics as the story had not yet finished.
"I'll have to wait for that moment another time." I sighed.
I had picked up the guitar from the play room the room where everything and everyone (even time) stopped. I remember being taught to play guitar by my Father and even being gifted one for my 14th birthday; the tide was gone, everything was in its right place and the feel of having a loving family would send my whole body into blissful spirit.
"My guitar that's been dumped at home must feel so lonely." I whispered sorrowfully.
Feeling all the pain bunged up inside of me I decided to get it all out and write a song. I had always wanted to be a singer and sing my heart out on stage like the other singers did; Arabella M. Root, Victor Bendix, Max Brunch.

It was the 2nd day in the asylum and I already felt Ill. I missed my father. I missed my mother. I missed myself and who I was.; it was so lonely. I got up and felt finger nails down a black board screeching in my head. Everyone had there own little group here; someone that they could talk to, that they could relate to, that they could have fun with. I felt distant. Growing up I never had a real friendship. Someone I could talk. Someone who was nice or even cared. Now all those feelings are just rushing back. Sometimes I feel like everyone on this earth is destined to have a friend. I guess I just felt like I was in mars. Even if I had made friends with them the chants that swirled around my head just didn't agree. Screw this.
My father was hurting. I know that. I also know that he threw me away like picking the dirt from your fingers. I just have to let him go. And if I'm being honest I didn't want to hurt him. I just wanted to let him live I guess.
I joined the queue. Watched the gang walk in front of me like I was a sheep following from behind. They talked. Julie looked down hearted. Alone. They stood in silence. Like a night stalker I looked at there every move, following from behind. Her head tilted. Looking at me shocked.
"Oh Alice! Sorry come with me." Julie was surprised.
I know she felt bad. Even if I didn't want her; I couldn't ignore it.
Like a turbulent wave her hands opened and closed, back and forth gently and carefully. Red gashes formed on her wrist; a velvet river poured from its source and it instantly hit me; what it was.
"Oh shit! Sorry!" She shouted full of realisation.
"I-it's fine do you want any tissues or anything?" I worried.
"Its okay I just have to-" she said running of.
"W-wait." I said shouting at the beginning then slowly giving up.
I felt drops of sorrow push itself out of my eyes; it was like a prison I could not escape.
I shrieked knowing what she has done to herself. Knowing that I know how it feels. I ran to my room, my heart pounding in sorrow.
"No..." I muttered.
I cursed under my breath.

It was later in the day. Feeling the same as every other day I struggled to go back; I had a feeling that I never could. I don't think I could face anyone after that. Even if that was the case I went downstairs, into the cafeteria and went towards the table. Everyone sat there doe eyed and faceless. Everyone apart from Julie who's seat was empty.
"Hi. Sorry about that I was being dramatic but I just get super worried about people like that." I downheartedly said.
"It's okay she just she's troubled. She hurts herself and isn't in a good...place." Sabrina said.
"What so you've just been thinking this the whole time and not telling her. It's not like you guys are any better! I'm just gonna see her!" I shouted running of not knowing why I said that or where I was going. But I did know where I was going; room 017.

"Hi. Julie." I muttered knocking on her door.
She sat there,arm over her eyes, lying down on her bed.
"You came." She said smiling with a slight bit of sparkle in her eyes.
"Of course I just wanted to see how you were holding up. Are you okay?" I worried.
"Yeah I'm fine I just. I didn't want anyone seeing that!" She said this in a crescendo of noise.
"Julie." I said covering her scars. " I don't care about these scars. I care about you."
"There from. My friend. She pushed me around and ended up breaking my leg. I had to go into hospital for a while and because of this I was. Hurting. Myself. And when m-my parents found out they were mad so they sent me here!" She shrieked. "You don't even know how much I want to get back at them." She looked at me with anger and hatred in her eyes.
"I want to kill them. All of them my mother, my father, her. They all hurt me!"
We sat there in silence.
" Julie it's going to be okay you have- you have me." I said smiling at her.
"Thank you." She replied.
I could tell she felt distant from the others. Almost like she wasn't there. I could feel the pain through her breath when I spoke to her; it was almost like her breath was saying please help me as she spoke. We chatted for a while more. It was nice.
I want to kill them. All of them. These words were a train wreck in my mind going round faster and faster. Maybe I wanted to hurt my father. Or maybe he could just go on with his life. But did he really put me in here. I honestly felt more betrayal than hatred. But I knew I had to see him. One more time.
We both said our words like we were as lonely as a deserted ship, ripped apart, slowly drowning in death.
We spent the night talking about all our troubles listening to the blissful yet bleak music from village; it seemed so near us yet so far from us.
"God I wish I could just. Go out there one last time. But I know I won't."
"What do you mean.? Aren't you visiting your parents?" I replied.
"Well yeah but." She slightly laughed. "But I mean really go out into the village and everything. You know go to the shops and down the streets to see all the people, get all dressed up go out for dinner. But I never had that anyway." She down heartedly said.
"We will get out." I said holding her hand.
The music that played in the town sounded a lot like when I was a child, my mother singing me rhythmic lullabies as I drifted to sleep. There was silence as we listened to the music that washed across the town.
"Sometimes you love the town you live in. You go to the shows, you go for drinks but then if or when something truly horrible happens it feels different and you don't feel the spark like you did before. Then you just give...up." Julie said like she had experienced it before.
"I suppose so." I said slightly tired, drifting of.
"God I hate that women so much." She murmured. "You know the one who's in charge of this place. You probably met her when you arrived." She said full of hatred. "God I wish I could punch that bitch. SCREW HER!" She said starting to sound slightly funny.
I laughed knowing that she meant it in a joke way but the hatred in her eyes was far from a joke.
"I mean the people here don't even go back home. You see they either die here or...yeah I think everyone just dies in the end."
"No one's goes back." I replied. "Because there's just no way back. It's the place with no return."