Lifeline

13. Psychiatrist

"Ben, you can't just miss another day at work just to meet up with Callum," Jay told me angrily.

"B-but this is different. I can't g-go to work today."

"What's so different about today then?"

"I- um... I have an a-appointment with C-Callum.." I mumbled.

A lightbulb immediately went off in Jay's head. "That's okay mate. You can take the day off. Do you want me to come with you?"

Jay's offer was very tempting but I wanted to be able to do things for myself. It wouldn't be that bad, would it? All I was doing was going to Callum's work and waiting for him to come out and take me to his office. How hard can it be?

"No, it's okay," I told him and he nodded in response.

***

I'm here. I'm actually here. Well, I'm outside. All I have to do is walk inside, sign myself in and then wait for my boyfriend to appear. This will be like taking candy off a baby.

I walked inside the large building, my palms sweating like crazy. Ugh, just make them stop! The receptionist looked up at me with a friendly face as I anxiously walked towards her. I guess she was just used to people like me.

"Hello, how can I help you?" She asked.

"I- I'm here to s-see Cal- I mean Dr H-Highway," I stuttered, avoiding all eye contact with this woman.

The woman began typing on her keyboard before looking back up at me, "Ben Mitchell?" I nodded in response, "take a seat, he'll be out in a few minutes."

I walked over to the waiting room and sat in a hard, black, plastic chair. It wasn't exactly comfortable but hopefully I wouldn't be here for long. Overall, the room wasn't badly decorated. The walls were painted a blue like the sky and were littered with random health posters, the floor was a beige colour and there were people everywhere.

Oh no. There are people everywhere. Suddenly, I felt my throat begin to tighten as I tried to snatch oxygen from the air around me, my whole body was trembling and I felt really lightheaded.

She's laughing at you. He's talking bad about you. They think you're a freak. Freak. Freak. Freak.

I was feeling worse and worse by the minute. I couldn't control this. Come on Ben, calm down. Stop doing this. The more I thought about trying to make it stop, the worse it got. It got so bad that almost everyone was staring at me.

Then I saw him. My hero. He had come to save me. "Hey," he spoke in a soft voice, "everything's okay, I'm here. You're okay, Ben, I promise you."

"I- I n-need to... g-get out of h-here," I told him while gasping for air.

"Okay, come on," he gently commanded as I slowly rose from my seat. The older man wrapped his arm around me and walked me down quite a long corridor and into a room which I'm assuming was his office.

He directed me to a sofa which was opposite his desk and I sat down, Callum crouched in front of me. "You're alright, babe. It's just me and you here. Nobody else," he told me softly and it was surprisingly comforting.

My boyfriend took both of my clammy hands but he didn't seem to care. He never did. "Just take deep breaths. Copy me," he commanded while taking slow, deep breaths. Without even having to think about it, I began to copy his breathing.

Before I knew it, everything was okay again. I was calm. After Callum ensured that I was okay, he sat at his desk and began typing on his computer. It was at this moment that I realised this room was a little more than just a sofa and a desk.