The Comfort In Our Love

Chapter 6: Piano Playing

Things didn't change much between Jaya and I. It could have just been me but I still felt bad about her birthday party. I felt like it was my fault somehow. I was happy Jaya still acted and greeted me the same way she always did. It was a Friday afternoon and we had just finished calculus. "Are y'all busy this evening?" Leah asked. We all shook our heads, which is surprising since we are all usually busy studying. "How about we go to karaoke?" she suggested. "I don't know y'all. I'm suddenly not feeling good" I reply. "You have no choice Tapiwa. You looked like you've been stressed for a bit. Let's enjoy ourselves tonight." Tino said, as he looked at me. I glanced over at Jaya and saw she had a somewhat concerned face. I faintly smiled at Tino and nodded. "Perfect! I'll meet you all in a few hours. I'll give you the address of the place I found." Leah said as she was leaving. We all waved goodbye and went our separate ways. When I got home I sat on the floor near my bed for a while. I just couldn't stop thinking about that night. I wanted to do all that with Jaya but it still felt wrong somehow. Although, I knew I couldn't stay this confused forever. I was pretty sure I was bisexual but I had never told anyone. I suspected it since I have found women attractive but it was almost like Jaya confirmed it for me. I didn't know if she felt the same way about me. I tried not to think about it or I would spoil my mood for tonight. I put on a crimson red skirt, a black blouse, white shoes and a black beret and I left the house. I was the last one to get to the karaoke place because I had trouble finding it. 'Sorry I couldn't find the entrance. The front door is a little bit sketchy. Leah, are you sure this place is okay?" I said when I walked in. "Yes I'm sure. Come on! Let's go into our room." she said, pulling my arm. Leah really likes karaoke and she has a really nice voice. Tino on the other hand sounds like a cat is losing all of its nine lives at once. I love him but I don't love his singing. I sang occasionally but not really in front of people. I decided to sing Lovegxme by Lady Gxgx and I killed it. I had never heard Jaya sing before. That night she wore black jeans, an oak tree brown loose top and a black cap. I would have complimented her if I wasn't having such an internal struggle. Somehow Tino dragged Jaya to do a duet with him. While they sang, Leah came and sat beside me. "Hey, are you okay? You seem to be acting differently." Leah asked me. I told her I was fine and was just tired from studying. "Tapiwa, you don't have to keep it all in. You don't have to tell me all the details but sometimes talking about it helps. You know I love you and I'm always here for you as a friend right?" she said to me while looking me in the eyes. "I know Leah, thank you. I'm just confused about something and I'm just trying to figure it out. I'll tell you when I've straightened it out." I said to her. "No rush. Just call me if you need anything." she said as she hugged him. I nodded as I was resting my head on her shoulder. She and I did a duet after Tino and Jaya. After a few hours we were all tired and ready to go home. "Hey before I forget, I have a cheerleading performance with the school next Wednesday. You all better be coming." Leah said while stopping us from all leaving. "Do we have to?" Tino asked. Leah put Tino in a chokehold and said, "Of course and I'm expecting flowers from at least one of you." Jaya and I laughed at them as they were play fighting as usual. "I'll buy you peonies Leah." Jaya said. "You know me so well Jaya. Thank you." she said as she smiled. As Tino and Leah were still play fighting, Jaya turned over to me. "Do you want a ride there and back?" she asked. There was no point in making it weird because the whole situation was my fault. "Sure that would be great, thank you! Maybe we can get food before the performance too!" I said. She smiled and nodded in agreement. It was such a simple gesture but it put my heart slightly at ease. We all went home afterwards and waited to see each other in class again.

It was a cold week. The winter time was usually bad. I didn't prepare much for this winter but I at least had gloves. It was the last week of classes before exam season. As I walked to class, I saw Jaya walking in around the same time. "Jaya, wait up!" I said as I ran over. "Don't run. The ground is slippery!" Jaya replied. I then began to walk slower on somewhat crunchy snow. When I caught up to her, we began to walk to class together. We still had about a 5 minute walk before we would reach class. We walked in silence for a bit until Jaya decided to speak. "Where is your hat? It's freezing out." Jaya asked. "Forgot it at home. It's fine! We are almost at class." I said. Jaya then walks and stops in front of me. She takes the hat off her head and puts it on me. She fixed my hair and everything. "Jaya I'm okay really! What about you? Won't you be cold?" I asked her. "Let's go." she replied, ignoring me. I didn't bother to push it any further. I would be lying if I said I didn't like it. Thank god she couldn't see me blushing. When we got into class, Tino and Leah were already sitting there. Jaya and I walked over to them. "When did you get that hat Tapiwa? I've never seen you wear that before." Tino asked. "It's Jaya's." I said smiling. "Hmmmm okay. Interesting." Leah said. Tino nodded. "Y'all are weirdos." I said as I laughed. "Okay hush now. Let's sit and pay attention." Jaya yelled at us. And we all went silent and listened to the teacher. I thought about napping this class but I turned over to look at Jaya, I didn't feel as tired anymore. I wondered how someone could be so beautiful. Her beautiful dark brown eyes, her nicely curved nose, her lovely smooth lips, just everything about Jaya was beautiful. I wanted to feel Jaya's lips against mine again. I began blushing to myself when I thought of that and I turned away. This was our only class for the day so we started leaving campus. "Are you busy right now? Want to hangout?" Jaya asked me. "Sure! I'm free for the rest of the day." I said, smiling at her. "Hey Leah and I are free to hangout as well Jaya. Ask us too." Tino wined. "Who is we? Leave her alone, dummy." Leah said, putting him in her usual choke hold. "This time it's just me and Tapiwa." Jaya said firmly. I couldn't help but nod and agree. "We will go to Starbxcks then. It's on Tino this time. We will see y'all later!" Leah said, winking at Jaya. I wondered why she winked at her. Tino and Leah walked off in the distance. Jaya and I walked down the snowy pavement on campus for a bit in silence. It was nice though. It wasn't even an awkward silence. I got to appreciate the scenery and walking with Jaya in general. When we reached Jaya's car, she opened the passenger door for me. I thanked her and sat inside. Once Jaya got in, she turned to me. "Want to go a book shopping and then maybe go to the café afterwards?" Jaya asked as she stared into my eyes. "Sure that sounds like fun. Let's go!" I replied. Jaya smiled and we drove off to the closest bookstore. We finally reached the bookstore after 10 minutes of driving. We walked in and I immediately went to the fantasy section. Jaya followed close behind me. I had a list of lgbtqia+ fantasy books I wanted to look at. As I began, I noticed Jaya was also looking at lgbtqia+ fantasy books. It made me smile just thinking we had the same taste in books. The book I really wanted to get was a little high up for me. I was struggling on my tippy toes for a little bit before I gave up. I then felt someone behind and I saw them grab the book above me. The hand then brought the book down for me and gave it to me. I was happy when I spun around and saw it was Jaya. "Thank you. I think this is the book I'm going to get!" I said with the biggest smile on my face. She smiled and made our way over to the checkout. Jaya and I walked side by side out of the bookstore. We looked great walking together. We both had black Doc Mxrtxn boots on. I wore white pants, a black turtleneck and a navy blue winter coat. Jaya wore navy blue pants, a white turtleneck and a black winter coat. She always looked cute but she especially looked cute that day. On our way to the café, Jaya and I stopped by a flower shop to get Leah flowers. "These ones are beautiful. Leah will love these peonies, Jaya." I said, as I turned to her. She nodded and we bought them for Leah.

Wednesday finally came and it was time for Leah's performance. Jaya and I stopped to get poutine before the show. It was really nice. It didn't feel awkward at all. We then met up with Tino in the school's gym. "Look at you two strolling up together. Jaya, I love the classic turtleneck and dress pants. Tapiwa, I love the long baby blue skirt you have with the black top. You look beautiful." Tino said, as he smiled at us. "Thank you." We both replied. Afterwards, we went and sat down. Leah did so well. She's an amazing cheerleader. I was pretty sure the three of us made the most noise. Once the performance was over, we met up with Leah. "Thank you everyone. I really appreciate it." Leah said with the biggest smile on her face. We all ran up and gave her a big hug and congratulated her. "These are for you. Tapiwa helped me pick them out." Jaya said, as she handed Leah the bouquet of peonies. That's when Leah started tearing up and hugging us again. Once the tears were gone, Leah suggested hanging at her place. "Sure. Tapiwa and I have to do something so we will meet you at your place later." Jaya said. "We do?" I asked, in confusion. "Okay. I'll see y'all later then." Leah yelled as she walked away with Tino. Usually Tino puts up a fight, but that time he didn't. "Let's go!" Jaya said as she grabbed my hand. Her hand was so warm and soft. I didn't want to spoil the moment so I followed obediently. Jaya took me to a side of campus I had never gone to before. We finally arrived at a room that had large windows across the wall and a piano at the corner of the room. Jaya sat me down on a chair in front of the piano. "Remember how you said you wanted to hear me play? Well I hope you enjoy this special performance." Jaya said as she sat down behind the piano. I was so excited that I finally got to hear Jaya play. Once she began the song, I was shocked. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. I don't know if it was because it was Jaya playing but it was overall beautiful. I was moved to tears. The tears had suddenly started dripping down my face. Once Jaya finished, she saw I was crying. "Tapiwa, what's wrong?" she said as she wiped my tears. "Nothing. You and your playing are just so beautiful Jaya." I said as I smiled at her. She took my hand in hers and we walked over to the windows. Jaya stood directly behind me as we looked outside. We looked at the stars and their beauty. Jaya's hands were around my waist as we watched. I felt so warm and safe. I didn't want this feeling to end. "Hey Tapiwa, remember what I said on the way home from my birthday party? ''Friends don't do the things we do.''? " she asked me. "Yes I remember." I replied. I felt anxious at that moment. Jaya spun me around and looked me in my eyes. "I still believe that statement. What I'm trying to say is, I want us to be more than friends. I like you Tapiwa. Every single part of you. Even the parts you may not like about yourself. I like it all." she said, smiling at me. My eyes widened by the shock of her words. I guess I had always had romantic feelings for Jaya. I just never expected her to reciprocate those feelings back. "I like you too Jaya. More than you could ever know. Thank you for playing for me, thank you for taking care of me, and thank you for liking someone like me." I said with the biggest smile on my face. Jaya leaned down and kissed me like the night of her birthday party. It was slightly cold in the room but our lips against each other felt warm. Jaya then picked me up and kissed me as she held me. Our breaths were hot and so were our tongues and lips. Our lips finally parted and I looked down at Jaya as she held me. "Does this mean we are girlfriends now?" I asked. "If you'll have me?" Jaya said, as she giggled at me. I kissed her again and said," Does that answer your question?" I couldn't express how happy it made me to think I was dating Jaya. I was such a lucky person. Jaya then put me back down on the ground. "Let's go over to Leah's. Shall we?" I asked Jaya while I extended my hand to hold hers. She nodded and grabbed my hand. We then began walking back to the parking lot. "Should we tell Leah and Tino that we are dating now? I'll go with whatever you want." Jaya said. "Um maybe? It's not that I'm embarrassed about us, it's just that I haven't come out to them yet. I haven't even come out to you." I replied in a sad tone. Jaya stopped right in front of me and hugged me tightly. "Tapiwa, don't feel pressured to come out to anyone. Especially me. You don't have to come out ever in your lifetime. You don't owe anyone that." Jaya said as she hugged tighter. "I know don't worry. But I want to tell you now. I think bisexual feels best for me. I like people who look similar to me and different from me. Wow. It feels good to finally let it out. Thanks for making me feel safe Jaya. That's why I don't find it as hard to tell you." I said as I looked up at her. "I'm proud of you." she said as she kissed my forehead. I smiled and we continued towards our car. She opened the door for me and I got in. Once we buckled up, she turned to me. She kissed me on the cheek and asked if I was ready. I nodded and we drove to Leah's place. I was ready to be honest with my friends with the support of my girlfriend.