every night i'm dancing with your ghost

i gotta move on, but it hurts to try

She should've been used to this. Used to the feeling of loss, used to losing a loved one. But every time it happens, it somehow hurts a dozen times more.

Her parents, then Pietro, her best friend Vision, Natasha. Natasha.

Beautiful, sweet Natasha. Every single time, she always came back for her. Except for then. Except for when she finally left for good.

Natasha would've said that she'd go to Hell, because of what she did, the red on her ledger. Wanda would disagree and they would argue, they would always argue about the stupidest things.

But Natasha's up in Heaven now, Wanda knows that. Because Natasha was an angel, no matter how much red stained her hands, no matter how many people she had killed, she always made up for it with her actions.

She never had a choice, but even knowing that, she spent her entire life trying to make it better. And that is what made her so much stronger than everyone else.

They all had their reasons, but to Wanda, Natasha's was always the most valiant.

When the two had first met, they met as enemies. Wanda showed Natasha everything she was so desperately trying to forget, reminded her of everything that had hurt her, but Natasha ended up apologizing for it.

Natasha had knocked on her door and apologized for every little thing that Wanda had gone through and Wanda watched as the person she had hurt, had apologized.

As Wanda sat on the old couch, she remembered all the stories Natasha told her. Her missions, her past, the Avengers, her family.

Whenever she talked about her family, she always had a look, a tender and far off look. Wanda remembered the littlest details about what she would say, like that her sister's favourite song as a child was 'American Pie', and so that was Natasha's favourite too. Wanda knew that the song had symbolized her sister in a way. Wanda knew that Natasha loved the song because of it's connection to her sister, and Wanda loved Natasha for it.

Wanda loved the way that everything Natasha favoured was because it had meaning, not just because it sounded nice, or looked cool. Everything but her.

Wanda never understood why Natasha loved her. She wasn't anything special except for her powers, so when Natasha told her one day that she liked her, Wanda couldn't believe it.

They came so far, Natasha and Wanda. From awkwardly grabbing each other's hands to swaying gently to 'American Pie' in the living room like a married couple. They came so far only to get here.

Only for everything to be ruined by a stupid rock.

Wanda closed her eyes, Natasha running through her mind. Resting her head and leaning back, she sighed.

Her mind started playing Natasha's favourite song, their song. It had become their song after they had swayed to it slowly in the living room, in front of this exact couch. It had become their song after they danced to it, cried to it, made love with it in the background and fought to it.

Now, there wasn't even a them. She missed even the fights. The fights that would end in Natasha storming out then coming back later to apologize, she was always the mature one.

Long long time ago, I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And maybe they'd be happy for a while

Wanda knew there was no one there to dance with, but the arms she felt snake around her waist were too much like Natasha's too ignore.

She slowly stood up from the old broken couch and swayed. She felt Natasha's body moving with hers as she move side to side, the warmth, the perfectness of how they fit together, like two puzzle pieces.

But February made me shiver
With every paper I'd deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more step

Wanda closed her eyes, still swaying, letting herself break free from reality and pretend that Natasha is real, once again.