A Hung Voe's Woe

Urbosa sat sunbathing on one of the side balconies of Vah Naboris. It was the perfect way to unwind, feeling the heat of the Gerudo desert sun caressing her glistening skin. Unwinding was exactly what was on the menu that morning; Zelda and her champion had arrived as the sun rose, and having been caught in the Gerudo sunrise, were due for some extensive cooling down in the bath chamber at the back of Vah Naboris.

Knowing they were safe within the armoured hull of her great war machine, Urbosa could afford to take it easy. She idly thought of what the young pair would be getting up to in the privacy of the bath, and part of her longed for some strange and swarthy voe to take to the bath with her.

She moved her thoughts elsewhere, seeking to avoid the torment that came with such idle fantasies when there were no voe present to fulfil them. She listened to the sounds of the desert; the keening of hawks on the high winds, the distant crash of sand being kicked up by roaming Molduga, and the muffled chatter of the marketplace from the nearby Gerudo town.

She began to lose herself in the desert lullaby, lulling off under the blanket of the sun's warmth. Just then, she heard the soft patter of feet steadily approaching.

She sat up and turned to see Zelda's champion entering, leaning against the wall overlooking the desert. He uttered no greeting; he merely looked out over the desert, letting out a crestfallen sigh in time with the wind.

'Champion - Link, wasn't it? - have you had your fill of Vah Naboris's bath chamber?'

Link turned and gave a curt nod, before resuming his forlorn watch.

'Was the bath to your liking? Nothing is quite as refreshing after a hard journey through the desert sun, correct?'

He nodded again, but didn't look at her this time. Behind her, Urbosa heard another patter of footsteps; The Princess, hurrying as she ran to another chamber, head down and just as crestfallen as her champion. Urbosa turned to Link once more. He was looking after Zelda longingly, his heartache painted across his youthful features clear as day.

'Link... does something ail you?'

He cast his eyes towards Urbosa, before looking down and away again awkwardly.

'The Princess and you, have you both had a disagreement?'

Urbosa decided to press him further.

'Or even, a lover's quarrel?'

At that, Link looked up, clearly not expecting that anyone would ever clue in on the true nature of his relationship with Zelda. Urbosa gave a soft chuckle at his silent shock.

'Not to worry, I won't tell anyone that you're a bit more than her champion these days... perhaps I can even help. Now tell me; what weight rests upon your young shoulders?'

Link sighed heavily, battling with himself on whether he should divulge the details of his argument.

'Bottling it up will drive you mad, young voe. Don't be afraid to tell me.'

Link pushed his hands together and made a twisting motion, before pulling his fists apart again.

'She... broke up with you? Why on earth would she do that?'

Link sighed again, and held his hands up, palms parallel to each other and wide apart.

'You two... grew distant? Apart?'

He shook his head, and thought awkwardly on how to best put what he wanted to communicate next. He pointed down, towards his crotch.

'The Princess ehh... craved something a little bigger?'