A Spencer Reid Story: Love and Loss

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Cat stretched her arms above her head as sunlight poured across her face, bright and shinning. She rubbed the sleep away from her eyes and stretched out her stiff muscles. Her chocolate eyes glanced around the apartment, it was quiet, and she was warm under the covers. She probably could have fallen back asleep for a little while but she really had to use the bathroom, all that wine flushing through her system. It must be early in the morning and Spencer must still be asleep. She stood up, stretching out her back and reaching her hands above her head, then walked over to the bathroom door. She tapped against the door quietly, with no answer just to make sure he wasn’t actually in there. She turned the handle and tried to push open the door but was met with some sort of resistance on the other side. Her eyebrows creased in confusion as she pushed on the door a little harder, the resistance giving way so she could open the door fully. Spencer lied on the floor, his eyes closed and his mouth crusted over from some sort of froth. She stared down in horror, kneeling down next to him and shaking him. “Spencer!? Spencer are you alright?” She shook him vigorously with no avail. “SPENCER!” she screamed in his ear. She began to panic. Did she call 911? Did she try something else to wake him up? Running on pure impulse she grabbed him from under his arms and with adrenaline induced strength she joisted him up into his shower, turning on the water  to cold. She began slapping his face. “Spencer, please wake up. Please be alright.” Tears started to streak down her face, hidden by the stream of water now soaking through their clothes. Spencer coughed, sputtering a bit of water out of his mouth, while Cat let out a huge sigh of relief, kissing his forehead over and over.

Spencer felt delirious. What was going on? Why was it raining? Oh wait…. That wasn’t rain… that was his shower. He was in his shower, but sitting down. Something was heavy… oh, someone was holding him. “Cat?” his voice was weak and dry, and it came out more like a whisper as his surroundings became more pronounced. Cat held him tighter as he spoke her name.

“Spencer… Spencer what happened?” She brushed his hair behind his ear multiple times, trying to stay calm herself. Her heart was beating a million miles per minute as shock was setting through her system. Spencer rubbed at his eyes, taking the pouring cold water and splashing it against his face.

“Ugh… I don’t know.” He rubbed at his face vigorously as he looked at her, seeing the worry etched in her face. He was going to have to tell her. There was no getting out of this one. He broke their stare and stood up on shaky legs. He turned off the water and stepped out into the now freezing cold bathroom. He took a towel out of his closet and handed it to Cat while he grabbed his own to dry off. The silence between them was heavy. Maybe he could just lie and say he got sick in the middle of the night and passed out on the floor? His stomach clenched at the thought of lying to her. He was just so tired. So tired of keeping this charade up. He took her hand and led her into his bedroom where he pulled out some oversized shorts and a shirt for her to slip into. She took them gratefully and headed back to the bathroom to change. He changed into something similar, and in no time made his way back to the living room. He walked over to the kitchen area and started to brew some coffee. The clock on his microwave read 7:13 am. He shook his head, feeling suddenly exhausted. Cat came out of the bathroom, glancing up at him, her wet curly hair almost laying flat against her face. She sat down on the couch as he handed her a cup of coffee. The drank the warm liquid quietly, letting it warm them up from the chilling event from before.

“Spencer, what the fuck happened?” Cat could feel her anger in her voice. It was partly from being so scared of the whole ordeal she just went through. It was sort of a self-defense, trying to keep from  crying. She stared at him pointedly, crossing her arms in front of her chest. He looked down, shame lining his face.

“Cat… there is something I have to tell you.” And so he began, beginning from the time he had been kidnapped by an unsub and had been held hostage. How the unsub had had multiple personality disorder and at one point could be very caring. The way that the unsub dealt with things was by shooting up dilaudid, and had thought he was doing Spencer a favor by giving him doses. He confessed to her how he had stolen the remaining vials from the unsub and how he had struggled with the addiction. He spoke about how he was finally able to get clean, but how recent events such as JJ’s death, and someone sending him the new vial had made him spiral back into his addiction. He talked freely, and openly, finally being able to let it all out felt extremely good. Cat never spoke once, just sat there and listened, her eyes peering over at him from her coffee cup. When he finished with the ending of last night’s events she shook her head and put her coffee cup down. She scooted over to him and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly to her. Spencer could feel the desperation in her grip and he suddenly felt guilty for laying all of that information on her. They had only been seeing each other for a few months now. She was probably bound to leave him, for sure.

“Spencer. I wish you would have told me sooner.” He could feel her crying now, as her body racked with silent sobs. He grabbed onto her tighter.

“I’m sorry Cat. I haven’t told anybody. I don’t want anybody to know. I could lose my job for this. Catherine pulled away suddenly, disbelief in her eyes.

“Spencer, you could have lost your life for this!” she pointed out with an angry tone and he suddenly realized that she was right. He looked down, not being able to meet her gaze for the first time.

“You’re right.” He murmured quietly. He pushed his hair back behind his ear. She held him again, finally letting herself realize that she had almost lost him. She had only known Spencer for a few months but in that short time period she felt super close to him, and was really starting to develop real feelings. To find out such a dark secret of Spencer’s was a bit overwhelming. She needed some time to think, some air and some room to breathe. 

“Spencer, you will get through this. I’ll….I’ll help you, anyway I can.” She stood up as she spoke and he looked at her quizzically.

“Where are you going?” He asked, standing up behind her. She looked at him.

“Where do you think? To throw away the vial and syringe.” She made her way to the bathroom, her chocolate eyes searching for the damn thing that she suddenly felt very passionate and hatred toward. Spencer just followed. There was a deep dark part of him that was surprised that she was going to throw it away. A part of him that didn’t want her to throw it away, but he knew deep down that it was for the best, this was the way it was going to have to be. She grabbed the vial that was still sitting on the bathroom counter, she took the syringe and snapped it in half, Spencer slightly wincing at the sound. She took them both in her hand and walked back outside of Spencer’s apartment.

“Where are you going?” he asked following her.

“Um, did you think I was really going to throw away the dilaudid in your apartment? How stupid do you think I am? They are going in the outside trash, which I think today is trash day anyway.” She smirked, feeling clever as she put the vial into the garbage on the side of the street that was going to be picked up a bit later today. Spencer looked dejected. This was going to be really really hard. Cat could see the longing in his eyes.

“I know it’s going to be hard Spencer but like I said I will help you anyway I can, alright? Come on, lets go out to breakfast, my treat.” She tried to cheer him up, getting some food in him would be a good start to get passed the events of last night. He smiled and was about to answer when his cell phone rang.

He grabbed it quickly. “Dr. Reid.”

“Reid, my dearest loveliest friend, I know it’s Sunday but Hotch has called in an immediate meeting. Another girl has gone missing and they think it’s connected to our recent unsub.” Penelope typed on her keyboard viciously trying to see if there were any possible connections between the missing girl and the two previous ones. Spencer sighed.

“I’ll be right in Garcia.” He closed his phone with a click and stared back at Cat. “I’m sorry but I just got called into work. We’re working on a big case and they really need me. I’m going to have to get a rain check on that breakfast. Maybe later if I’m not too busy we can do dinner, my treat.” He smiled a small smile, in which she returned.

“Okay Spencer. Just please be safe, okay? Maybe I’ll call you, to see if things are going okay?” She asked, hopeful.

Reid shrugged. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to pick up my phone while I’m working but you can always try, sure.” He hugged her close to him and she wrapped her arms around his waist, suddenly feeling so small. She gave him a quick peck on the lips as she walked away in the other direction toward her college apartment. She took out her phone.

“Aislinn, do you think you could pick me up? Yes I’m fine, just a really weird morning. I know it’s early. No nothing happened, I just need a ride. Well okay something happened but I’ll explain when you get here. Okay, yes, pick me up at the coffee shop I’m going to grab some coffee. Okay. Bye.” Catherine walked off in the direction of the coffee shop while Reid went back into his apartment to get ready for work. Today was going to be a very long day without dilaudid. He could almost feel the withdraws starting.