By Day And Night

Part 1

 The cold air was biting at my fingers, face and toes, even underneath the seemingly 500 layers I had on; but I guess it was fitting. The weather matched the bitterness that seemed to be eating at my soul after losing the one person I still had in this world. You never realize how much you miss someone until they're gone. Even if he was working all the time, trying to make a name for himself and his genius, he was still there when it counted. He might have been buried in the computer all the time but he still made time for me when it counted. So maybe he didn't go to every school event or recital, but he was there when I needed him to be. So he didn't make it to all the school events, but he was there to help me with my homework (not that I needed it without familial genius), or, when I lost one of the two other people who actually meant something to me. No, he wasn't like other parents, but I wouldn't have asked for it to be any other way. We had our own bond that was special to us and that's all that matters. Mattered. So maybe Tony Stark wasn't the perfect father, but he was mine.

It seemed impossible that he wasn't here with me anymore. I couldn't believe it. Even staring down at the piece of stone with his name carved into it, it didn't feel real. There was no way that this is what was left of the most important person in my life. This...piece of stone amidst 500 others that look almost exactly the same. This couldn't be him.

I felt the tears prick at my eyes again. I had tried not to cry anymore, it had been over a month since the police showed up at my door, saying there had been an accident at the lab he was working at. Over a month since my whole world stopped. They say that there are 7 stages of grief but it doesn't feel like that to the people experiencing it. It's difficult to describe how it feels and really, I've blocked out a lot of what happened after that one moment. I remember feeling numb. And I remember crying. What else could I do? I never knew my mother and I didn't have any siblings. My dad was everything to me. Always had been.

And now the tears were free-falling again. In the time since my dad died, I don't remember doing much else. Crying and sleeping. The rest was just a blur. A blur of questions. Questions about school and living arrangements. Funeral arrangements. I didn't know how much more I could take.

I'm not sure how long I spent standing there. Crying. Time blurred because it all circled back to that disbelief. Though it seemed I wasn't alone in my misery. There was someone else who had joined me. Well, not really. He was a few feet away and across the row from me, staring at a lost one of his own. He appeared as miserable as I'm sure I did. I'm not sure when he showed up but I didn't think much of it. At least, not until it happened 3 more times.

Sometimes he was there before me, sometimes after. But no matter what, without fail, he was always there, right across the row, not 20 feet away. He was tall, with dark, tousled hair, and a frame that I couldn't describe very well under the thick, black overcoat that he was wearing. And he kept coming back. We never said anything to each other. I don't even know who he was coming to see. All I know is that he was there. Every time. No matter that the weather got colder, and the snow piled up until you almost couldn't see the headstones. He was always there.

On this particularly icy and miserable day, I had planned ahead enough to bring hot cocoa. But before I left this morning, I decided to grab an extra cup. Maybe this time, my visit, or maybe even his, didn't have to be so miserable. When I went this time, no one was there at first. So I went over and stood in front of the headstone as usual. It seemed I was there forever, not that I had anywhere else to be. I hadn't gone to school fall term because it was too much to try and juggle that and all the stuff with my dad; and today was my day off from work. I had all the time in the world to sit here in my despair, wishing he was still here. Though I was there so long, I almost thought the stranger wouldn't show up again when out of the corner of my eye, I saw him approach his usual spot.

Though now I realized, this probably wasn't the best idea.

There was a good chance that he probably wanted to visit whoever he was visiting in peace.

Though for some reason, that didn't stop me from calling out to him, "Cocoa?"

It must have taken a moment for him to realize that I was talking to him because he looked around for a minute before looking at me in surprise, with an expression that said, "me?"

I nodded and called again, "You're always out here and it's pretty nasty out today. I made it earlier this afternoon but it's still hot if you want some."

He paused for a minute, seemingly in some kind of mini-argument with himself before nodding slightly and walking in my direction. I quickly fished out the second cup and began to fill it with the steaming liquid. He moved quickly because by the time I had the cap screwed back on my thermas he was almost to me.

I held out the cup for him and he accepted it with a quiet "Thanks". Then he paused, and stared down at it for a second. He was a lot cuter up close. From here I could see his strong jaw and dark eyes. Even with the red rings around them, there was no denying how attractive he was.

Tears started forming in his eyes and I quickly rushed to say, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you, it was just cold and-"

"No, it's okay." He interrupted softly. A small smile made its way onto his face as a single tear fell. "I just... I haven't had this in a long time. Not since..." he trailed off.

"Something to do with the person you're visiting here?" I asked.

"Yeah. She loved this stuff." I could hear the fondness in his voice. And the pain.

"Who was she?" he looked up at me, somewhat surprised I'd asked and I hurried to continue, "I'm so sorry. That was really personal and you probably don't want to talk about it."

He was silent for a moment before answering, "She was my girlfriend."

"I'm sorry." I could tell that this was hard for him. "You must miss her." Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.

"Yeah." he sniffled before he looked up and made eye contact with me. "What about you? Who are you visiting? If you don't mind my asking."

"My father." I said a little more shakily than I would've liked.

"I'm sorry." What else was there to say really? Neither of us really knew each other and currently, all we had in common was that we lost people we loved.

We fell into a strangely comfortable silence after that. Standing there, staring out at the foggy outline of the city and drinking out hot cocoa. It was starting to get later and with that, colder. The wind picked up and even the hot drinks couldn't keep me warm anymore. Though I didn't seem to be alone in that. I was shivering, apparently too loudly because he looked down at me and seemed to take notice.

"We should probably head back." He said.

"What?" I asked, surprised.

He seemed to notice and quickly continued, "It's freezing out here and if we stay out any longer, we're going to start losing body parts. So let's be done for the day. Go home and come back tomorrow."

"That's probably a good idea." I bent down to grab my bag that had at one point held my lunch in it. Once I had it, we started trudging our way through the snow, out of the park. It was silent again, save for the whistling of the wind and the sound of our boots clumping in the snow. When we got to the front gate, we paused. I realized we didn't even know each other's names.

"I'm Y/n, by the way." I held my hand out.

He shook it and said, "Peter."

"Well... I guess I'll see you around, Peter."

"I guess so, Y/n."

And with that, we went our separate directions. Huh, that was...not terrible. To be honest, it was probably one of the most positive interactions I'd had since my dad.... Nope. Still can't say it.

But, Peter was nice. And that meant that today, for the first time in a long time, wasn't absolutely horrible.