Wanted For Pleasure

Chapter Thirty-two: you just need to be alone

"I guess it's going to have to hurt, I guess I'm going to have to cry, And let go of some things I've loved to get to the other side
I guess it's going to break me down, Like fallin when you try to fly,
Sad but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life starts with goodbye"

Chris Omar Vaughn

I drove the whole thirty minutes to Buffalo Wild Wings because they let me pick and that's what I was craving. I know they wanted something more upscale to celebrate the win and cap off a long day, but I'm a kid at heart who just wants boneless barbecue wings, so that's what I deserve.

Everyone was already inside while I sat in the car, head pounding as I rested it on the steering wheel.

Morgan was sweet enough to ride with me and endure it with no music or talking, but there was comfort in the silence. Well, until I recalled all of Rodney's taunting in my head and got mad all over again.

"Are you okay? Do you need something?" She asked me, her voice gentle enough to put me to sleep.

I didn't answer, I couldn't or it would come off rude because I wasn't ready to talk, yet.

She rubbed my back and not in a sensual way, but softly like she just wanted me to feel better. I remembered when my mother used to do that, I'd usually fall asleep right on her lap.

"Are you ready to go inside; your mom just texted me, the table's ready?" She let me know after another thirty minute wait to be seated.

When I didn't answer, Morgan removed her hand and asked, "Do you want me to leave you alone?"

"No," I finally let out, sitting against the seat.

She leaned in and kissed my cheek.

"It's okay," she said in a whisper, raking my hair back.

My eyes fell to her lips and I brought ours together.

I'd be lying if I said that didn't make me feel any better. But what I really needed: to smoke.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Jabari's knuckles against my back window made me pull away from Morgan.

"Aye, I know you ain't in here smoking without me!" He loud-mouthed as he hopped inside.

Morgan laughed at him. "Does it smell like weed to you?"

"Meh, I wasn't talking to you, Barbie," he joked with her, trying to tickle her neck.

She laughed and swatted him away. "Whatever, I'll leave you two alone."

I stopped her from leaving, not because I wanted her to get high, but because I needed her company right now.

She smiled sweetly at me and then sat back in the passenger seat.

"I need a girlfriend," Jabari randomly complained.

Morgan turned so they could have a conversation while I dug between her legs for my bag that I kept under the passenger seat.

Once I had it, I found a pre-rolled blunt. I mentally thanked myself for remembering to do that earlier, knowing I'd need it after the game.

"Why don't you have one?" Morgan entertained him.

"'Cause these bitches ain't shit," Jabari answered humorously.

Morgan shook her head. "Maybe you need to lower your standards. Or it could be you're looking in the wrong places."