Wanted For Pleasure

Chapter Forty-one: wife of Hades

TW: SA (not depicted, alluded to)

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"And though the coldness I have always felt leaves me, the numbness doesn't and probably never will. this relationship will probably lead to nothing... this didn't change anything."

Morgan Ann Bennett

I didn't know he'd find out, and I definitely didn't know that he would react like this.

What was I supposed to do? Keep bullshitting Malcolm, say I have a STD or that I'm on my period for the third time this month alone? I tried giving him excuses, I tried leaving, and look where it got me: nowhere. Just a lot of trauma.

That gun could've had no bullets in it that day for all I know but the idea of him shooting himself was enough to scare me into staying. I'm fucking trapped and I don't know what part of that Chris doesn't understand.

And it's not like I touched Malcolm. I've held his hand before, linked arms, hugged him, and kissed his cheek even, but I'll stare directly into the sun for five interrupted minutes before I ever go there with that man.

I had no idea how he found out, Teddy either.

I knew I should've told him when he asked me but how could I?

"Yes, guy who I'm sexually involved with, I let your UNCLE eat me out before."

No.

In my defense, what else did Chris expect? No. No, I'm not going to play the victim. Although, that is true. I mean, I came here for Malcolm, Chris just happened to sweep me off of my feet.

God, and maybe I wouldn't be so stressed over this if I didn't— if I wasn't— ah, fuck it, I think I really like this man. My feelings are soon going to be out of my control, I can't suppress them forever.

Or maybe this is for the best, I hope everyone finds out so Malcolm can just leave me the fuck alone.

Oh, as if it'll be that easy. I'd try it, but I fear someone will get seriously hurt, if not me, then Malcolm. Obviously Malcolm has paid the law enforcement off so if it came down to it, Chris isn't getting off easy.

I tried calling and texting, FaceTiming and reaching out via social media, but he opened all of my messages and ignored me.

At least he sees them, right? Means he's reading the messages?

I just wish I knew what he was thinking, if there was a way to bounce back from this.

I even talked to Jabari, but he didn't have much to say. He said this is between Chris and I, and that I did fuck up. Of course that's the truth but I didn't need to hear it, what I needed is solutions and to make this right with Chris.

His birthday is in a week. I considered throwing him a party as a surprise but I'm sure I'm the last person he'd want to see. Besides, he's so ignorant, he'd just blow up on me again or straight up leave his own celebration.

For days I avoided Mary and Carter, mostly Mary. I love them and she's been there for me, but I draw the line at discussing my sex life with their son. Sure I wanted her advice but that is her son at the end of the day, and I'm not sure if I'd like her wisdom if it was possibly anything along the lines of: just leave or end it.

"Morgan, darling, I can't sleep with all of your crying," Malcolm said upon me entering the room.

My back was to the door and I sniffled.