december

2 0 0

by Multifand0ml0vsy0u

by Multifand0ml0vsy0u

it is December first I just have to be on my crutches for 2 more weeks everyone is over and we are watching Christmas movies "so y/n how are you doing with your leg"Sadie asked "better it's easier to walk around and I know how to go upstairs my self"I smiled "nice it's is awesome your dad moved out"jack said "yea I feel a little happier"I said ok I miss my old dad my sober dad he was awesome he was so nice to everyone then he just started drinking I am turning into my dad

I went to my room to wrap so presents I got timothèe a new camera and candy a new guitar and a few other things because his birthday is coming up Sadie some jeans shirts and candy jack a new skateboard because someone broke his and candy so yep I hope they love them I tried hard I put them under my bed and went downstairs I went to the bathroom and threw up a lot I just kept coming and coming people are like to me why don't you stop doing drugs i can't I try my highest says being sober in the past 5 months is 4 days 4 FUCKING DAYS I hate my self so much I just started crying and crying it's been 2 days since I have done drugs I am trying to be at least a week sober then time came in he shut the door and hugged me "I try so fucking hard to be sober but I can't"I said crying "I know it's really hard really hard you got this when was the last time you did drugs"he asked "2 days ago"I said "ok let's get up and make some hot cocoa"he helped me up and we went to the kitchen

"Hey are you love"finn asked "yes I am good I am two days sober"I smiled "oh only two days"he said with a concerned look on his face "I-I thought you would be happy for me the longest days I have gone is 4 I am trying to go for a week and even longer"I said smiling and I sat down at the bar in the kitchen "it's easy just throw them away and stop"finn said I started to cry "it's a addiction it's not that easy"I said looking down "why are you crying over that"he asked this is the first fight we have gotten into "because my boyfriend is not helping me and being mad at me I FUCKING HATE YOU I HATE YOU"I yelled at him he just walked out oh my god why did I just do that I put my head on the counter "I just snapped at him I feel so bad"I said "it's ok I would snap all the time but it would affect people really bad like finn but don't feel bad and he just doesn't understand how they can affect people I will talk to him about it"timothèe said