Eight Years

Present

"Do you want it back?" he asks when he sees me staring at the painting again.

I turn to meet his eyes as he stands behind me in the hallway. "Absolutely not. I made it for you, you should have it." I turn back to the picture of the flowery fountain.

I kind of like the idea that he still has something I made for him, hanging on his wall, reminding him of me.

Taking one last look around the place, I clutch my phone in my fist. The taxi's probably already waiting for me outside. I don't want to leave yet, I'm not ready to say goodbye again.

But I can't stay here forever.

I have some job hunting to do at home.

"I could give you a ride," he says. "You wouldn't have to pay for a taxi." He's already holding car keys in his hand, like he thinks I'll say yes.

But I shake my head. "I have some errands to run around the city before heading home." I make my way to where he's standing by the front door. "You surely have better things to do than drive me around for an hour."

Pushing off the wall, he twists the knob and opens the door. "I can spare an hour." I give him a look, he shakes his head. "I have nothing to do today, I don't mind."

I cover his hand with mine on the door knob. "Thanks for the offer, but I'll take the taxi. You shouldn't waste your Saturday driving around some stranger you met last night."

"I've known you forever, Barry. I've been to your old house. I've met your parents. I've been there with a pint of ice cream when you've had a bad day. I danced with you at prom. I've made out with you in a closet." Both of us laugh. "Trust me, you're the furthest thing from a stranger to me."

My heart skips a beat. Back then, he might've known me even better than my best friend.

But I can't accept his offer. I just have to rip the bandage off and leave. "Jax, I'm sorry, but I have to go." I look outside at the taxi waiting for me.

I meet the green eyes again, sadness washing over me. "I had fun last night. It was nice to see you again after so long, and reminisce on the past, but I've got to get back to my life."

His shoulders drop as he pulls his hand from under mine. "We'll see each other again, right?" His hand comes up to caress my cheek as he stares into my eyes.

Leaning into his touch, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It feels just like it did back then.

It feels like we're back to high school, me in my short cheer skirt, and him in his team jacket and sweats. His hand on my cheek as he tells me he has plans for us for tonight, tells me to wear something pretty. Tells me I look beautiful and that he never wants to take his eyes off of me.

Just hold me like this forever.

"I'll come by the restaurant some time soon," I tell him, covering his hand on my cheek with mine, and pulling it away, letting it drop to his side. "I'll come to see if you really can make an even better lasagnette than then."

I meet his eyes. All of this feels too much like the goodbyes then. When my heart got ripped out of my chest by my own hands, because it was my decision that we couldn't stay together.

It was my decision to leave him.

And it didn't make it any easier to focus on studying the next fall when I started college. I think it was even worse than it would've been if we stayed together.

I think leaving him then was my biggest mistake I'd ever made.

And I think I'm about to make that same mistake again, and I'll regret it as soon as I get home.

"I really have to go," I say, looking at the taxi again, but my feet are rooted to the ground, and I can't move.

The next thing I know is that Jaxon's arms are wrapped tightly around me, holding my body to his. "Don't go, Emaline. Not again," he whispers against my hair, so low that I don't think he meant for me to hear it.

"I can't, Jax," I say against his chest, squeezing my eyes shut. "I can't right now, it's not a good time for me."

I go to move away from him, to leave before I change my mind and decide to stay here forever, but his arms just tighten around me. "One moment, please," he says. "Just one more moment before you leave again."

A lump forms in my throat, making it hard to swallow. Something squeezes my lungs, making it hard to breathe.

I want to say here, Jax. I want to stay with you.

His arms fall, freeing me, but his hands come up to hold my face. "Promise you'll come to the restaurant?" He brushes a strand of my hair behind my ear.

I nod, unable to form words right now.

He kisses my forehead before taking a step away, holding the door open for me. "I'm holding onto that promise. And I'll make hell of a good lasagnette for you, so good you'll be coming back as soon as possible."

Reaching up on my toes, I press a kiss onto his cheek. "Goodbye, Jaxon."

And I leave, feeling my heart being ripped out of my chest again.

I'm sorry, baby.

But I saw the ring on your dresser.

—

Two weeks later I went to Ann's with Amy, and ate the best lasagnette of my life. Even better than the one Jax made me on our third date.