Two Years To Become Erin

Chapter 4 - Storm Clouds and Teardrops

21 March 2019, 11:17 PM

I'm scared.

I can't put my mind to rest. This could only be a common flu, but I'm only one to two symptoms away from Covid-19 infection. I can't smell things anymore. Even the pungent smell of sun-dries fish had gone unnoticed to me today.

I walked behind Jeany, not minding a thing. Suddenly, she started speaking to me, apologizing for the nasty smell of the dish that might've gotten me out of bed. I turned back and asked what she was talking about. Jeany looked at me, utterly confused that I did not get her right away. She then showed me a wok with dried fish frying in it. My eyes balled out in shock. I swear I could smell that notorious thing from miles away. But I really did not sense it this time until it was pointed out to me.

Maybe my head is just going crazy, exaggerating things because of my own fears.

I stayed in bed half the day because I was dizzy and feverish since morning. But time only proved I would get worse staying in my room.

I asked Gab to take me around town. I wanted to see some trees, rice fields, or anything quiet and calming. Rolling in bed just makes me think of the worst.

To keep Gab safe, I put on a mask and asked him to put one for himself as well. We walked a long while and eventually reached a stream high up on the nearby hill. The hike was a little challenging, but the destination made it worth the while. The water flowed through crevices between boulders and settled down on a bed of flat pebbles. The depth was up until the waist only but was incredibly freezing.

What a majestic place, I said to myself. The tall canopy of trees, the calming sound of gushing water, and the mystic voice of wildlife made me forget about my own problems.

We settled down on the bank and dipped our legs in the water. Amid the silence, Gab began talking about the excitement one must feel living within the city. He has never seen Davao, not even the closer Tagum City. All his life, Gab has stayed in the same place, woke up in the same small town, and strode the same old rivers and trees.

I'd like to take him to Davao one day. When all of these crazy things have come to an end.

I don't know what came over me, but my mouth suddenly began to ask weird, personal questions. For some reason, I ended up asking why Gab never traveled to Davao. Jeany works in the city, surely, she could've taken him there every once in a while.

Gab then answered rhetorically. What business would he do there? Can he even find a place to sleep? He has a point.

My house is big, I told him. Maybe next time, when Gab will have interest again, I'll take him around Shrine Hills or Roxas Night Market. I'm practically alone in the house anyway.

Gab turned around and pitched in a question this time. Where were my parents?

I try to keep this side of my life short and private as much as possible. My dad died young, and my mom hardly has time at work overseas.

My tactless, little mouth acted on its own again and this time asked Gab about his father and mother. It took a little while before he answered back. I started to feel a little embarrassed. I stammered for an apology, but he just smiled back at me and nodded alright.

What I learned wrecked my heart a little. When Gab's parents were about to deliver their harvest to the market, a farm truck ran over them. The driver claimed he lost control of the brakes.

It was the saddest, most awkward, conversation ever. I wish I never asked such depressing questions.

The sun softened its glow, signaling the end of the day. Storm clouds started brewing in, and we both decided to go home.

It was weird. The hike going down went a little harder than going up. I felt some shortness of breath, and my mask didn't make it any easier for me to get fresh air. My body was heating up viciously against the cold winds passing by. We made it halfway down the trek before my head started to spin like crazy.

I remember my vision having quick lapses of complete darkness as I struggled to find balance on the rocky steps. I barely whispered Gab's name before I lost consciousness. Good thing he heard me before I fell. I found out I was burning high with fever, Gab explained at home.

I didn't know what happened after that, but he said we got caught in the rain as we reached the foot of the hill. He carried me on his back and ran home as quick as he could.

Now, I'm here in Jeany's bed, fever running, breathing heavy, and body tired and aching.

Just now, Jeany came inside my room. Mask over her face, she carried a bowl of congee for dinner. Jeany told me to sleep early, so I could regain my strength in the morning. She added Gab will buy some ibuprofen and vitamin C after his shift tomorrow. She left with a gentle wave of goodbye. I'm sure beneath that mask was her ever-comforting smile. But her eyes... her eyes speak of fear and anxiety.

I reached out for the bowl of congee and tried to smell the aroma of ginger and chicken. But I couldn't sniff a thing. My eyes became teary, but I tried to compose myself.

One gentle scoop of the porridge, and I blew it off softly. My fingers trembled as I moved it closer to my mouth. I shut my eyes to prevent my other senses from perceiving other corporeal signals. There was heat but no flavor. I tried to understand what the meal tasted like. I kept it in my mouth for as long as I could. Still, I couldn't taste anything.

My spirit began to shatter. But I refused to yield yet. I tried again for the second time. Then third. Then fourth.

I opened my eyes, and tears began to fall like rain. I slammed the bowl on the table and started to cry.

I think I have Covid-19.