Remember when I said earlier I was glad there hadn't been a spark between us when we shook hands? Well, it must have just been on a temporary loo break or something because energy is now throbbing in the small space between us. Once again, I can't l...
I very briefly panic about how Michael might react to the footage of my kiss with Liam once it comes through on our phones . . . but then I think "Fuck it." He's the one bringing his new girlfriend to an event that he barely made the cut for, after all.
And yes, it's quite a big deal for me that I've somehow put the worry to one side. Normally I would be more stressed. Somehow my newfound feelings for Liam - as well as a great deal of alcohol, probably - have distracted me from my normal fears.
Thankfully this train is far emptier than the last one, which is a relief. Although I wouldn't have minded another opportunity to get Liam close to me, I think to myself, shooting him a quick glance. I'm strangely disappointed to discover he's not looking at me and instead staring into space, seeming a wee bit annoyed.
Oh well.
As we leave the train and head up the escalator, I notice Luke making a beeline for Michael while Becky hangs back to wait for me. "I know Alex is trying to cause trouble," she says quietly into my ear as we walk up the escalator. "So Luke is just going to tell Michael what the videos are likely to be before they are in the chat. Including how Alex was partly the reason you two ended up kissing in the first place. We figure if we all just laugh it off it won't be a huge thing."
"Makes sense," I nod, relieved despite myself. I know Luke, silver-tongued devil that he is, will make it sound like it is no big deal, and Michael will buy that and not read too much into the kiss. Perhaps he won't even watch it. And if he does . . . Well that's his bad.
"I mean, it didn't mean anything so . . ." Becky trails off and stops walking. She turns around and looks at me closely. "Wait. Did it?"
"Did it what?" I play dumb, my heart hammering.
"Did the kiss mean something?" She probes me. I know Becky better than just about anyone, and so I can almost read her thoughts as she's processing them. "You were spending a lot of time together prior to it actually happening . . ."
"We sort of made a pact to try to avoid any dares," I admit, trying to head her off at the pass.
"Well, that didn't work, did it?" She asks archly. "And you've been together a lot since it happened too, it's not like you've been avoiding him. I've witnessed a lot of moments, it's just I've only just realised that's what they were." Her face lights up. "You like him, don't you?"
I feel my cheeks burn crimson. "Maybe?"
"Oh my god!" Becky throws her arms around me. "This is amazing!"
I look at her questioningly.
"I've always thought you'd be perfect together," she confesses as we start moving towards the next pub. Seems we've been left behind by everyone else.
"But . . . Michael?" I'm confused. I thought she liked us together.
"Michael is a great guy," she nods. "And as long as you were happy then I was happy for you. But . . . Well, from the moment I met Liam I thought you and him would hit it off." She frowns. "And then you met and you didn't. I've always suspected that he had a thing for you though. When you and Michael split up I thought maybe - finally - you and Liam might happen."
"Wait." It's my turn to stop walking. "That's not why you organised today, was it? To try and push us together somehow?"
Becky looks me straight in the eye. "No," she replies immediately and I can see nothing to indicate she's lying. "I was going to wait for the wedding to do that," she adds. "Honestly though, I do think you'd be great together. He's genuinely such a good guy. Sweet, smart, funny . . . And, of course, hot."
"In a just-rolled-out-of-bed-and-didnt-bother-to-try sort of way," I snipe. Although it's growing on me. A lot. I mean, some guys actually make an effort to look like that.
She shrugs. "Hey, its a look that seems to work for him," she nods. "That Sandy girl was definitely into it."
I roll my eyes and she starts to laugh. "Come on, admit it, you were jealous when she was talking to him."
I know I'm busted and hold my hands up in surrender. "I was. I like him, okay? But Becky, I don't know what is going to happen here so can you just . . . Not get your hopes up and not say anything to anyone about it?"
"Promise," she vows. "But in turn you need to just stay open to this and give it a chance, okay?"
I take a deep breath. I can do that. I shake her hand, making this my second deal of the day. This one might be even more scary than the first one.
We push the doors open to the pub and the first person my gaze falls on is of course Liam. This time he is looking directly at me and I suddenly realise this is the least guarded he's probably ever been around me. Right at this moment, I have absolutely no doubt from the expression on his face that he really likes me. I can feel my mouth involuntarily curving into a smile.
And it hits me how much I don't want to fuck up this chance with him.
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