Draco, Draco.

O n e ( 4th y e a r)

"I don't want to go." I mumbled shoving the emerald green jumper in my trunk making the tiny elf flinch.

"I'm sorry miss." Milo spoke gently placing my clothes carefully beside the jumper.

"It's just- I don't want to leave her alone." I say defeatedly sitting on the bed twisting the ends of my hair absentmindedly.

"Milo understands, but you need to go back to school miss." He insists looking at me with his big round eyes. At this point we were all walking in circles.

"I know." I said looking away from his stare to the wall, I've been staring at this wall a lot lately. I mean there isn't much to do when you spend so many hours awake.

"Have you been sleeping okay miss?" He asks kindly fiddling with his fingers.

"Not really, the sleeping draught isn't working anymore. Thank you for asking." I sighed giving him a tired smile. His ears perked up at the last statement. Deep concern spread across his tiny face, he was adorable. I always found him the sweetest amongst the other elves.

"I can make you some jasmine tea,if you'd like? Milo is sure it will help you relax." He said hopefully. I nodded at him and immediately his face broke into a knowing smile. He quickly bowed before snapping his fingers leaving me alone to my thoughts.

In the last two months I realised how loud one's thoughts can get and I haven't been enjoying it at all. I didn't want to stay in this big ass mansion and neither did I want to leave. The struggle felt never ending. It's true I didn't want to leave my mother alone but that was partly a reason why I didn't want to go. I wasn't ready to let him go just yet.

I often found myself  wandering into a world of what ifs. What if he was still here, right now. What if, we didn't have to deal with the situation we are so bounded to. What if it didn't have to be him, what if I didn't look hard enough, what if-

~
"Father, what if I am not a good witch?" I asked turning to face him as he tucked me in.

"I think you'll be an extraordinary witch." He said, a warm smile spread across his lips as he combed the loose strands of my hair away from my face.

"What if I don't make any friends?" I asked , my lips forming a pout. A hearty chuckle left his mouth.

"What if I do something wrong in class? What if I blow up something? What if I am not able to answer the question? Merlin, what if I am not put in Slytherin-"

"My, my little one, that's too many what if's in that head of yours." He spoke with a hint of amusement cutting me off.

"But father what if-"

"There will always be what ifs in your life Rosalia, always. We can't have everything we desire, sometimes we have to make choices as we move forward and that will lead you to your what ifs." He explained patting my little forehead.

"So what do I do then?" I asked curiously.

"Absolutely nothing. You made that choice, whatever might be happening is happening because it's meant to be that way, why waste time and energy thinking about a result that can't be reversed? So we accept it and embrace it." He spoke never breaking his brown eyes away from mine.

"Accept and embrace." I repeated his words, a small smile of my own tugging at my lips.

"That's right, now go off to sleep okay?" He said placing a loving kiss on my forehead before humming the same tune he'd hum for me every night.

~

"He loved that tune you know?" My head snapped towards the door, a little startled I placed a hand on my chest regaining my composure. It's harder with these memories just randomly blacking me out.