A Neighbouring Romance

22 - this nightmare

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Wide awake in the dark, I'm watching Noah Anderson as he flinches and groans in his sleep, panic and anger etched into his gentle features. The way his body trembles in the dark makes me want to hold him in my arms forever.

For just one day, it seems we've both forgotten our enmities.

Cinnamon rolls, Harry Potter, childhood bedrooms, and defending one another. Today feels like a fever dream in that it's the antithesis to everything I expected from Noah Anderson.

"Hope."

What?

Did I hear him correctly or am I going delusional? Is my mind so hung up on his breath near my ear, the fingers on my forehead, his brutal defense of me against Kara – that I'm imagining something more?

"Hope!"

Noah's limp form jolts away from the light once again, I know the feeling of a sleepless night – avoiding fatigue so as to avert these nightmares. My heart clenches at the sight, trying to convince myself to look away but it's like when you see something so awful, you just can't. I'm in shock, regretting the hardened perception I've developed of him anew.

The boy cries out again, arms lashing out. I move quicker than expected, rushing to his side as I smooth the hair back and hold him for a moment. He shudders and my heart stops once again.

"Noah, wake up!" I shake him gently, but he continues to thrash in pain, a lone tear slips from his eye.

When I keep calling out, he suddenly jolts awake with a sharp intake of air, eyes red and breaths ragged, looking around the dark space in shock.

I try to orient him into our surroundings, breathing heavily as I force my body to relax with his. Palms press against his chest, his heart beating hard and fast beneath my fingers. It's racing, thumping at an excessive rate. My other hand brushes against his cheek, facing him to me. Tears rest at the brim of his eyes, threatening to fall but he blinks them away, agitated.

"Hey, you're okay." I whisper, eyes locking with his. He nods silently, eyes averted as he watches the dark sky outside.

"Noah?" I whisper.

"I'm fine." He pulls away from me harshly, still disoriented but with a determined edge that makes me wince.

"I'm leaving."

"No." He yells at me and I flinch back at the suddenness of his anger. "I'm going."

"Noah you're obviously not okay, let me-"

"I DON'T FUCKING NEED YOU, OKAY?! I don't-"

His voice cracks and my eyes flit to his in shock.

"Noah-"

I close my eyes for a second, considering the state of us.

"Please don't push me away." I whisper, throwing any ego and pride away for a moment. He needs me, I want to be here for him the same way he was for me.

The boy ignores my whispers, eyes cold and unfeeling as he moves past me and storms outside into the dark of the evening. The door to his Dodge flies open and I watch him in shock, calling his name out once, twice – until he drives away in two swift movements out of the driveway and into the dark.

What the hell?

Do I follow him? I could walk but how for how long? He'll be far enough now that I doubt I could keep up. Where would he even go?