Of Whispers and Daggers ✓ [TLRQ #2]

Chapter 18.1 - Aster

The cold of the early morning seeps through my blankets. The fire must have died out. I doze-dream about a manservant coming in to stoke it back up. Then the light shining on my eyes wakes me up again, and I remember that I'm cold.

One hand sneaks out of the blanket, and I telekinese the curtain shut with a muttered, "Et væ." I tug the blanket closer around me and stare at the ceiling. There's a spell I could use to light the fire from this distance, but it's hard and I'm not very good at it. I don't think I want to start my day with that sort of energy drain.

It feels like every day is competing to be worse than the one before. Aselle drops that if I want a coronation, I'll have to do it myself, and the next day, the castle goes crazy.

First, every Lady and their sister seemed to want to talk to me about my role in the castle and my war efforts. I tried to fend off as many as possible so I could get real work done. Ironic, considering they're accusing me of not working enough if I supposedly have time to organize my own coronation. I also had to meet with the investigators I'd set on the case of my mother's poisoning. Sela's wishes or not, I ordered no one be left out of the search. Even so, my servants have no more information than when I sent them out. A single trusted cook oversees all the Queen's meal preparations, and the maids they interviewed knew nothing. They even went so far as to question Illesiarr as to what sorts of poison might be ailing her—he had no answers for them. They concluded, hands clasped tightly in front of them, that it seems improbable that any poison is involved at all. Frustrated, I dismissed them. Yet another waste of time, and no closer to saving anyone.

Then, around noon, the Kadranians hit the wall.

We flooded it with soldiers and wizards, as Sela directed. The Kadranians didn't fall back until about six last night. We still don't know the extent of the disaster.

Then Leavi's 'lost message' about Lady Irrianet's almost-treason... I scoff and pull the blankets tighter. No wonder Irrianet needed to go talk to Lady Osennia, the daughter of a High Lady. She must have been making sure the girl was under her thumb before writing to Temmarelle. I wonder if, when I ran into her in the library the other night, she was already plotting with Irrianet. Jacqueline knows her mother, Riletta, will go along with almost anything. I used to feel bad for Osennia, being so obviously smarter than her. At my seventeenth, Mother hosted a ball, and I didn't even dislike my dances with the girl. Now disgust twists my gut. I suppose kindness really is just another tool of these castle vipers, something to be utilized and forgotten as soon as it's no longer helpful.

Never on my trips with Agraund was I so mentally exhausted. I just want to pull the blanket over my head and go back to sleep, forget that there's war, forget that there's scheming Ladies, forget that there's no responsible way for me to stay here right now.

Angry and tired before the day's even begun, I shove out of bed. Maybe Leavi was right. Maybe I shouldn't have come. I do my best, and it gets us nowhere. Maybe I should've stayed where I was and let Solus and everyone else just do whatever they wanted.