Ok so I just got done watching the first Cinderella movie and what the fudge did I just watch, so welcome to my rant where I just scream at a 50 year old movie for as fast as you can read this trainwreck So anyway
Story recap:
So widowed man finds new lover, new lover mean with her daughters father dies, lover/step mom be meaner for teenage years because original plot then ball happens some fairy lady comes and gives her stuff like a carriage but like wtf can't you just like teleport her there or like? You can make freaking ball gowns outta nowhere but Sending here there on your own is wayyyy to much work instead we make you a carriage and somebody to steer it because thats so much easier then the go to the ball yada yada blah blah blah Prince is stupid and doesn't know who we girl is after she leaves iconic ending
Let's leave out the sequels or my last 2 brain cells will crush put of force
First part: How in the name of fudge does Cinderella have her name theres probably an explanation somewhere but seriously Who thought of this name when people were writing this movie? Like wat Atleast snow White made some sense but like what the flip also can we talk about how Cinderella doesn't just poisen them or something like, there abusive, they probably killed ur dad, again they treat you like a slave so I'm just saying cps or poison what'll it be?
The sisters/Mother: I know I already talked alittle about the mom but I kinda want to talk about the sisters for a second So like what happens to these to when I watched the movie it felt like they kinda didn't want to really be doing this crap but uhm that changed when Cinderella won the fashion contest out of the family and then what do they do like the cliche bad sisters they are
A. Tell her she can't go
B. Admire her dress and be nice for once
C. Kill her
If I guessed any of these you would be wrong Because they f*ckin rip up a perfectly good just sewed probably dress considering she made it. (Ok I know sewing is like a dieing art but I do it at its insulting when people make holes/ruin stuff just for the heck of it)
Mrs godmother or whatever: So like what took you so long I mean it's been like 5 years of abuse and you show up now? Like bro what I already did a little rant on you earlier so I font have much else to say but still what took you so long?
Every man in that ball room: OK SO IS THE PRINCE BLIND YOU LITTERALY SAID YOU WERE THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE BUT FORGETS WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE IN LIKE 10 MINS ALSO LIKE NOBODY WAS PAYING ATTENTION TO THE GIRL TJE FUTURE KING WAS WITH? ALL THE HOMIES JUST DIPPED OR SOMETHING AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FREAKING SHOES DOES SHE WEAR LIKE A 11 IN KIDS OR SOMETJHMDHXHXFRX this is why women are better
Conclusion: just watch beauty and the beast also now it's 1am and I wanna sleep
Bye bestie
