lover

1

my life was a rollercoaster id never had a good bond with my mum and my dad wasn't always around, id always tend to of ran away from all the problems that surrounded me but some how they always found there back, but after meeting him everything changed i felt i had someone to confide in a person who stuck by me regardless of all i carried on my shoulders.

i didn't understand it at first, i mean why would he want me i had so much baggage so i always doubted anyone would wanna deal with what came with being with me, however he listened when i told him my flaws, he listened when i told him my past. No one had ever truly listened to me before so i kept talking and he kept listening i believe he knows all there is to know about me even things i believed no one would ever know.

my past isn't the greatest i've made my mistakes and at one point i felt that i would only ever go backwards in life, at the age of 13 a boy i trusted so stupidly took my innocence and i will never forget the way i felt after, the constant fear and betrayal from merely everyone was almost suffocating. So drastically my life changed after and i went downhill, i did everything i could to forget all so i didn't have to accept the truth. The people i foolishly thought of as my friends treated me like absolute hell, turning what happened to me into a joke and constantly throwing it in my face, i thought it was normal to laugh about it because that was how i coped with it, so if i could
laugh at it so could they. my best friend at the time told me it was my own fault and how i should've known, but in that situation sometimes you don't expect that type of hurt from someone you trust.

A few months later things go even tougher i wasn't coping well and my mum got too strict so strict i felt suffocated so i rebelled against her, doing bad things behind her back and getting involved with bad people, till i was so blinded by those people when one day i chose to run away from my own family and they followed me supporting that decision i was foolish enough to believe that was them being good friends.
Me running did however turn out to be the best decision i ever made, i was taken to live with my aunt an hour away from where i grew up, i met new people and out of all of them i met the person i love most of all, i met my person.

You can call me crazy or stupid or whatever you wish but in the end moving made me who i am now, i still haven't accepted what happened and i don't know if i ever will to be honest but i think i'm getting close to being at peace with it at least.
However a year later my aunt kicked me out and i had no other choice but to go back to where i grew up, and that was scary, i had no life there anymore i had no friends my life was where he was and while he's i still went there for school and to see him and sometimes my new friends, it didn't feel fair neither did it feel right.

i stopped going to school again and i drifted from all my new friends, he was the only person i saw and the only person i really spoke to, don't get me wrong i was scared all along i loved him more than anything but loving someone never ended well for me, no one ever stuck around so i always assumed the worst always thinking he was going to leave me always wondering if he truly felt how he told me he did. Deep down i knew he did i knew i was only being silly but it was still so scary to trust someone new.