⇢ an unrequited love between a girl and her best friend..
lowercase intended
better description in the introduction
stranger things belongs to the duffer brothers & netflix!!
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they're here again. somehow, seeing them together makes me feel even worse than the last time. i wish we hadn't become so distant after she came back. every time we do hang out, all he talks about is her. her wide brown eyes that light up every time she's happy. her porcelain, soft skin. her smooth hands her oh, so curly and soft deep brown hair. her soft lips.. i don't think i could come close to the words he describes to me. maybe he's exaggerating. maybe that's how he sees her. i wish he saw me that way. as someone with no flaws. as someone other than his best friend. i wish he would talk about me. my eyes. my skin. my hands. my oh, so wild hair. my lips. i see her as i see my sister. better. they're both better than me. probably why i'm second in both situations. i try to make up reasons to why i think el is better. maybe her hair looks better than mine? maybe her skin is softer and clearer than mine? maybe she's funnier than me? maybe she has more friends than me? maybe she's nicer? more friendly? more welcoming? less judgy? although, in my opinion, these are amazing reasons, they're just not it. she's better than me, because she's not me. my brain goes back to a day where it was normal. sort of. the topic of the conversation was of course, eleven. i remember it like it was yesterday.
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" guys, do you think el is coming back?" mike questions out of the blue. " well i wouldn't count on it." lucas utters, leaning back on the couch in mikes basement. " come on mike, we all saw her disappear after that whole incident" dustin half sighed, seemingly tired of the el talk. " yeah, but still. she has to be around somewhere." mike speaks up again, wishfully hoping to justify his case. " i wouldn't hold my breath." i mumble, causing their heads to turn towards me. " come on, it's been so long since that whole thing went down. trust me if she was still here and is still holding on to that 'connection' you keep talking about, she would've came back by now." i continue. " she's right mike, we all miss her but...you just gotta let it go." lucas said, turning back to mike " yeah, plus if she was still wandering around somewhere we would've definitely noticed her. she stands out quite a bit." dustin adds on, raising his brows and snickering at his joke. " who cares?! who wants to be like everyone else anyways? i know el is out there somewhere." mike snaps, sitting up from his seat. " whatever you say mike.." lucas mumbles, doubt lacing his words.
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i think i know why i feel like eleven is better than me. she's different. 'not like other girls' mike would say. i feel like that's a load of bullshit. my dad says all girls are truly the same no matter how different they may seem. he says a lot of things, and like most of them, i think that's bullshit too. i wish someone would give me a non bullshit answer to why i think eleven is better than me.
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csette tapes! my first attempt at dialogue, i'm not so proud of this one but i tried any thoughts? have a nice day!
