In Love With a Serial Killer

Chapter Fifty Four- Breaking Down

I have only had my heart broken once in my life. It was when I found my mother dead. Her body was lifeless under the roof where I slept. The house in which I could have protected her. She even knew it would happen. She knew her end was near and she acted as if she was immortal. I wish I had her acting ability. Even as a child, I remember her worrying about money and yet she would take me on walks to the most beautiful parts of the woods and parks and we would have picnics and spend the days discussing the shapes of clouds. And sometimes if the day was too busy or we wanted to do something different, she would take me out to see the stars or fireflies.

It was now that I had become heartbroken for the second time. This time, by the man I loved. I did not want to believe anything happened but I saw it. I stood here in a moment to see if he would push her away and he didn't. He basked in the moment and I realized I gave him what he wanted-now he would get bored, and he did.

I did not manage to sleep well since I tossed and turned throughout the night. My hands were a continuous earthquake and my eyes were floods. I only smiled when trying to stop the crying-but it was no use. Eventually, my tears did cease. That was only when I could not conjure another single tear. I was completely dry and cold inside. My heart was shattered and I didn't care where the pieces flew.

I heard a sobbing downstairs and my curiosity grew the best of me. If it was Maya, I would bask in the moment-celebrate with balloons and cake. But if it was Nick, I would have to fight every one of my instincts to not jump to him and caress his sorrowed face.

Making my way down each step, I saw how Nick was sitting before the fireplace. He had his head in his hands and brought up once just as I saw the tears in his eyes and on his cheeks. My tears returned now, as if they were just on pause. They streamed down my face as I saw him look toward the stairs.

"What are you doing down here?" I asked as this surprised him. "I though you saw me-"

"No. I was thinking of where I could go so I didn't annoy you..."

"You don't annoy me...You hurt me." It was as if the words hurt him more than his cheating hurt me. Which I found impossible due to the amount of pain I did feel.

"I know I should have pushed her off. It happened so fast I just didn't understand. She told me she thought she hurt herself and then bam! I am so sorry..." He dropped to his knees before me.

"Get up."

He got up and stood in front of me with slumped shoulders and a sorrowed expression.

"I want you gone." He closed his eyes before I finished. I realized he had his bag already packed beside him.

"I was mapping where to go. I don't want to go..."

I don't want you to! My heart screamed at me. How much I didn't wish for him to leave. But how can I be with someone I loathed? Someone who I couldn't stand to look at let alone be with? I loved and loathed the same man.