Heart of Gold • Finnick Odair

-19-

ROSALIE POV

We take the elevator down to where we would rise up on a platform to the stage, it was traditional.

First my prep team, then my escort, followed by Chaff (the mentor), then finally me.

The damp smell beneath the stage chokes me but I compose myself. I clench my fists making my nails dig into my palm to stop them from shaking.

The anthem booms through my ears followed by the voice of Caesar Flickerman greeting and welcoming the audience.

Chaff has one hand resting on the small of my back to keep me upright and steady, which I greatly appreciated, until he removed it when it was his time to step on the platform and rise out of view.

As soon as his hand left my back, I felt unstable on my legs as he had been holding me up and now I was left all alone, like always.

I swallow back the feeling of sick and wait until I'm instructed to step forwards, focussing on keeping my breathing steady whilst I waited to distract myself.

One of the guards push me forwards slightly and nod, telling me it was time. I stand on the platform and straighten out my dress, check my hair and take one final breath before I hear Caesar announce, "and now, the person we've all been waiting for, the beautiful, the brave, this years Victor, Rosalie May."

As I rose up, I'm met with blinding lights and the crowd cheering loudly making me want to cover my ears but instead, I smile. I smile and present myself as grateful to be alive, and happy to be here on this stage, I show the Capitol the complete opposite of my true feelings.

Caesar reached out his hand, which I gratefully take to stable myself, as he kisses me on the cheek. "Well, look at you, don't you look beautiful, huh? Doesn't she, doesn't she look gorgeous," he says looking out to the crowd who reply positively.

I take my place on the Victor's seat gladly, letting my shaky legs relax as the weight of my body falls gracefully into the comfy chair as I cross my legs.

We get straight into watching a required 'film' to all of Panem of the highlights of the Games which will last exactly three hours.

The first half hour being pre-arena events such as the reaping when I volunteered for Luna, the chariot ride through the Capitol in my fancy outfit beside Ralph, my training score and interview. It's horrific to watch, knowing practically everyone on the screen other than me is now dead.

There's then a detailed showing of the bloodbath.

The filmmakers have them altered in chronological order, switching between moments with me and Ralph, and the deaths that occurred.

I feel my heart catch in my throat when it shows Ralph's death. It's bad enough that I'd already lived through it once and now I had to relive it, but I couldn't push away the knowledge of the fact that right now, at this very second, our friends were also watching. Watching, with tears in their eyes, as he made me promise to live and go home. The camera switches between me singing our song as he died and my current reaction, watching as his eyes turned lifeless caused by the arrow sticking out of his chest.

I felt myself go numb as my thoughts switched between my brothers and one of my closest friends deaths in the past two games as well as the reaction of my best friends at home right now.

Once it's over and the announcement of my victory had sounded, the film switched off and the crowd cheer as me and my team smile, bow and wave.

My face has begun to hurt from all the fake smiling when Caesar Flickerman finally bids everyone goodnight, reminding everyone to watch the final interviews tomorrow, like they actually had a choice.

I'm whisked away to the president's mansion for the Victory Banquet as Capitol officials and generous sponsors, including the creepy old man who bought me the spear, barge each other for a picture with me.

I can feel President Snow's eyes on me but I ignore the uneasy feeling it brings and continue to politely converse and laugh with these idiotic Capitol citizens.

Once I'm back to the 'safety' of my floor, I head straight to my quarters, followed by Chaff.

I'm about to collapse from exhaustion when he catches me and leads me to the bathroom to wipe all the makeup off. Once I'm de-glammed, he leaves me to undress and go to bed. As soon as my head hits the cloudy soft pillow, I'm asleep.

I wake up with fresh tears streaming down my face, my throat sore from sobbing, my sweaty body shaking with fear as my unconscious figure had forced me to recall Ralph's bloodied corpse and lifeless eyes.

I have a mere few minutes to eat a bowl of different berries with cream for breakfast when I'm suddenly met with my prep team once again.

I say one thing, "the crowd sure did love you yesterday" and I didn't have to utter a single other word for the entire time them were working with me. I just nodded and smiled here and there when I saw them looking at me with enthusiastic looks and that was it. Soon enough, Mikel arrives and shoos them off, I don't have to pretend around him. He dresses me in an ombré blue dress, light blue at the top and dark blue at the bottom. The shoes were dark blue and I had a light blue headband on my head to keep my curly hair out of my face.

The room we are filming the interview in consist of just cameras, no live audience. This gives me a slither of reassurance.

Caesar Flickerman gives me a big warm hug, "congratulations, how are you feeling?"

"As good as I can be," I smile as he returns the gesture,

"We're going to have a wonderful time, don't worry."

Someone behind a camera counted down from five, "welcome, welcome all. Here we have our little flower of the Capitol, Miss Rosalie May..."

The interview started just moments after that and everything went smoothly. We laughed and joked and teased, discussing things here and there, until he asked more personal questions.

"What is it like to be the youngest victor at age thirteen?" Caesar asks.

I answer carefully because, in all honesty, it feels shocking. "I'm happy I could make my district proud."

"Now, we're all intrigued, when poor Ralph was dying, he asked for a song and, before you sung it, you told him he won, why was that?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, "I couldn't sleep one night here in the Capitol so I went into the hall for a glass of water and saw Ralph out there, he couldn't sleep either. Nerves. We started talking and he brought up this song I used to sing as kids, Titanium. He asked me to sing it but I said no, I hadn't sung anything since my brother died, but when I saw him lay on the ground about to die asking me to sing with that sad smile, well how could I say no. I guess I owed him one last song."

There are genuine tears in my eyes and Caesar's begin to water too. I put a small smile on my face, I just know the cameras will be zooming in on me, "well that pulls on my heartstrings, at least he got to hear it, one last time."

The rest of the interview is more lighthearted and jokey, I easily matched Caesars humour with my own comments.

When I reach my room, I change into more comfortable clothes and make sure to grab the rose pendant necklace and put it on and placing it under my shirt.

We are taken to the train in a car with blackened windows and I say my goodbyes to Mikel with a hug and a thank you.

I'll be seeing him again in a few months for my Victors tour.

Me, Chaff and Liana board the train that takes us back home, to District 11. We have a large dinner before sitting in silence in front of the tv as it replays events of the interview.

I think of Luna and Apollo. What do they think of me now that I'm a killer, a murderer? One thing I know for sure is that they can't hate me more than I hate myself.

I go outside for some fresh air when the train makes a quick fuel stop to try clear my head but it does no good so I just go back inside and take a nap.