"i'll never be that me again . . ."
***
I stared out of the window; I don't remember how long it had been; it could've been a few minutes, but as well as a few hours.
Time was most likely the first thing I lost track of after the outbreak happened.
The only indication of a day that had once again passed was the sunrise every morning, the last thing I would see before closing my eyes to set off to a haven.
Although it would feel dangerous to sleep during the day, when the zombies are most active, gege had pressed me on the heart that it was the safest option.
Perhaps it was because we could hide easier in the depths of darkness, or because my gege is just more of a night owl, but whatever the reason is, we travel by dusk and sleep at dawn.
Once the sun sets, gege would wake me; if I had not been awake already.
Sometimes, gege would have food ready; other times, there was nothing, but we had to be grateful that we survived another day, so neither of us spoke about it, rule 2.
In the beginning, it was hard to adjust, the world had turned upside down overnight, but we don't talk about the old world anymore, rule 3.
"Didi?" The voice of my gege cut my train of thoughts as I turned my attention back to him.
I watched my gege tick with his fingers on the steering wheel as if he was trying to play a tune from which he had forgotten most of the notes.
"Yes, gege?" I turned my body to look behind us while gege held the same speed.
There were no zombies in sight.
I turned back, "safe." My gege just hummed, and I could practically feel him smile.
"Sucks to have no rearview mirror; guess I should keep it in mind for tonight." I didn't respond, letting the peaceful silence fall over us like a thick blanket.
I used to hate silences, but ever since the outbreak started and gege ran off with me, I adjusted to the situation, just like the way I adapted to this new life.
"Didi, if you're hungry, there's something in the back of the car," my gege had said in a way that I knew he was hiding something.
I turned around again, letting myself hang half over the backseat of the car to grab the black bag.
Once it was between my hands, I felt a box.
I carefully opened the plastic bag, which had a little carton box inside with a sticker of a tiny bunny on top.
Without even opening the box, the waves of vanilla scent hit me hard.
It was my favourite cake, the exact cake I had been eating every year on the same day; my birthday.
Although the cake in this box was neither as big nor as colourful and even a little messy because of the way it had been handle, I knew it was made with love, and that was what mattered.
"Gege!" He let out a light huff, still focused on the road as I smiled, my heart feeling too heavy for my body.
"Happy birthday to us, didi," my gege whispered as I looked at the road ahead.
