War

Chapter 39

Clarke's POV

Empty. That's how I feel. After losing my father I felt the same way. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I stand up to find the murderers. People call my name, but I only hear the rhythm of my feet hitting the floor as I run.
"Jaha! Murphy! Come out you cowards!" I scream. With guns up, they walk round the corner. I copy them and raise my gun.
"Look at you princess, all brave. You will die just like your parents", Murphy snarls. I make a choice to shoot Murphy and die at Jaha's hand, as his gun is still pointed at my head. The gun jolts and a bullet flies into Murphys chest. However, A bullet flies over my shoulder and kills Jaha too. Behind me, Bellamy stands looking at me. I nod and walk to see my mum. She still lays where she died with a pool of blood arihnd her. I look at her and Kane's linked hands. At least she finally found someone and at least they died together. Through all her faults, Abby was still my mum and I should have saved her. I take her lifeless hand and whisper:
"I'm so sorry mum. Tell dad I said hi and look after me from up there. I love you."
Lincoln covers the bodies and places them on stretchers. Some men help him carry them out. I follow behind. Bellamy takes my hand and asks if I'm okay. My mouth is glued shut. My life becomes a daze of people apologising and asking if I'm okay, but I never answer. I can't function without my mum.

Bellamy hasn't spoken to me either. At midnight every night he wanders in from the bar and slumps into bed. I know because I never sleep. Lottie senses something as well, crying at random moments. A week after the death of my mum, I still haven't spoken. It nearing winter so its dark early. I sit by the fire surrounded by my friends. No one is talking, it's just silent. Bellamy sits next to me.
"Princess..." He just says. And that's when, for the first time in a week, I cry. I make up for every lost tear and every minute I spent silent. My chest is racked with sobs and Bellamy pulls me into his chest.
"Its okay, its going to be okay". My hair starts to feel wet, and I guess he too is crying. I'm engulfed in a group hug. Everyone is sniffling, but my cries drown them out. We stay like this until I fall asleep in everyones arms.

The next morning, I feel a lot better. Those tears were heavy and a weight has been lifted. Bellamy kisses my hand.
"Feeling better Princess?"
"Yes, I am. Thank you for being there." I reply.
"Look at that, she can speak. We need to hold a meeting, no one has done anything for the last few days. The grounders are getting worried", he explains.
"The grounders? Better late than never", I say sarcastically. Bellamy laughs, than throws me some clothes. When I'm dressed, I step outside. The rock in front of the ark seems like the perfect stage. I step onto and all eyes land on me.
"Listen up", Bellamy shouts. "Last week we lost very close friends and leaders. No one is more affected than us. But we need to keep working. New threats could come at any minute so we need to keep working. Kans and Abby wouldn't want us doing nothing in their absence". My voice breaks when I says my mums name.
Like busy bees, everyone gets to work. Jackson walks up to me. His eyes are puffy and red.
"I'm sorry Jackson. My mum always spoke very highly of you". He nods and it's obvious he's holding back tears.
"Now both Abby and Kane are gone. We need a leader. Abby made me promise to give this to you". Jacksons shaky hand gives me a letter. We all sit down, including Bellamy. I hope the pristine paper and recognise Abby's messy writing.
Clarke,
If you are reading this, I'm gone. But don't mourn for me because I'm in a better place, with your father. I'm sure I dont need to tell you how proud I am to call you my daughter. Sending you down to earth was the hardest thing I ever did, but I would ever change my decision. You became a stronger person and saved countless, like your dad. But that's not why I wrote this. Its not a goodbye because I will always be with you. I'm going to write this quick. I need you to be chancellor.
You are the best leader in camp and you & Blake are a power couple. Good luck and k love you, Mum.
As if on you, Jackson me with the chancellors pin.