Satan's Queen

12

Kaitlyn stared up at the ceiling, feeling numb. Somehow, she felt both light and heavy. She could feel the pain of her situation like a twist in her chest and yet it felt distant, like it was the feeling of someone else.

She managed to sit up. The tears were sticky on her cheeks. The sweat had dried on her skin. Satan's cum had turned to a crust between her legs. But at least he hadn't come back. She stared at the door, wondering where he'd gone. Thankful he was gone.

Feeling dazed, she stood and went over to the bathroom. Like so many things in this place, the tub filled impossibly fast. Magically fast. The surface was steaming as she climbed in. She dunked her head under the water, then began scrubbing herself. She needed to get him off her. She needed to get him out of her. His smell was everywhere—and it was dreadful and confusing and exhilarating all at the same time. Then there was the ash. That poor demon. Struggling not to cry, she dunked her head again.

Leaning back against the edge, she gazed up at the candelabra. 'Jacob,' she whispered.

Thinking of how she'd found him, curled up on the floor a black husk, she shivered. He'd been in agony for weeks. Tortured like the rest of the Damned. Like the guilty. And she suddenly wondered, if Satan could torture someone as good and kind as Jacob, who else might he be torturing? Could there be other good, or simply unfortunate souls burning amid the flames?

Look at the demon, hadn't it been good?

The possibility drove a stab of guilt deep into her guts. She was such a fool. Her eyes fell to her belly, the water making her skin gleam. A wave of hatred lit up like fireworks inside her. For the first time, she truly hated the thing growing inside her.

She truly hated him.

She stood. She was kidding herself. Sure, she might be able to protect Jacob now as the baby grew inside her but what was going to happen afterwards? Once Satan had the body he needed, why would he bother with her? Why would he bother with Jacob? He could crucify them. He could tear them apart. Worse—he could torture them both endlessly.

No matter Jacob's warning, she needed to get rid of it. But how to do it?

She needed to act quickly. She needed to be sure. If Satan walked in on her ... she turned her head with a grimace as she recalled the image of his demonic figure gnawing on her fingers. The horror of it made her stomach drop. Sometimes she forgot. Sometimes she forgot how truly awful he could be. He was Satan after all. His beauty made it easy to forget. His gentleness too. Sometimes he could be almost as gentle as Jacob ...

Wiping the tears from her cheeks, she stepped out of the tub. She didn't bother drying herself as she returned to the room and looked around. Hairbrush. Jewellery box. There were plenty of candles. She glanced back into the bathroom but there were only towels and soap and more candles. She could stick hot wax inside her—but would that do anything? She didn't know. There were her fists. She could beat herself—but that was easier said than done. She needed something swift. Preferably something sharp.

Kaitlyn searched and searched—but there was nothing. Perhaps she should wait for her next meal. There would be utensils: forks, knives. She could even use the handle of a spoon. But who was to say he wasn't watching her? Who was to say he wouldn't know exactly what she was thinking? Sometimes she wondered ...

Kaitlyn looked around the room fearfully, then snapped her head towards the window. What was she thinking? She had a whole world of possibility. Jacob suffered weeks in the flames. Other souls suffered for hundreds of years. Why should she be any different?

It was almost poetic.

Perhaps the better choice would be to be selfless. Perhaps it was time to be brave. She needed to do more than just rid herself of the baby. Her mouth quivered as she thought of Jacob. If she took her own life, she might never see him again.