Everything is moving but not me
I am probably delusional but do I want this?
I find myself in a box,
Carried by ever loyal people who care and see for me
I have gone places but have I really gone?
I see my life moving but am I?
I accept, I am an idiot, I don't know when I am been used
But what if been used makes me feel like priority..
Sweet nothings one morning and icy somethings the next day, I feel like an idiot for staying, But maybe I just needed a place,
Even if it is at the edge of a cliff...
I find myself looking at myself, examining a life that I am living that just looks like I am seeing a movie or something....
To put a smile on my fam,
I fan myself away, it's my responsibility to make them happy, A good child they can boast of ...
I indulge myself sometimes but shhhh...
It's a secret, No one must know, my family would be shamed, so shhhhh...
I sometimes feel like I am just an odd ball,
In everything going on in my life, I feel like an odd ball...
I wish someone would look at me, and stare and give me their pair of eyes,
I wonder what I look like from their point of view,
Do I look like the disdain that states back at me in the bathroom mirror?
Or am I really the pretty mother's daughter?
And how I should know that the tightness in my throat is not because I don't want to,
It's perfectly rehearsed in my head, but my heart thumps a million times over a second, and my head is running in overdrive, I can't even share this problem.... I can't express my emotions, so I just swallow them to avoid the painful tighten throat and to relax my thumping heart. You wouldn't see me dropping down to cry out of agony, I can hide my pain better than that.
My head was just going to explode, so i pened It down
YOU ARE READING
Reflections
SonstigesSo yes, I have a lot of problems but I wouldn't wallow in self pity and make a whole lot about how I am sad, no, just going to go over my thoughts and put them down.
