I MaAn You

THE UNSUNG ~PAIN

Hi.....everyone My birthday will start soon....so here is my small attempt for you all.......

I always wanted to write something like this so........here it is..........

                                                                   

The 25th birthday... missing you....

It's my 25th birthday........ it's my birthday Anupama.......after so many years I remembered my birthday........
Because this day was a horrible nightmare of mine....I lost my maa papa on this day after losing you....after that, I settled in the US to forget everything that happened in India ....
But I can't.......

Mere dil main aaj bhi teri tasveer hai.....
Mere dhadkan main aaj bhi tera zikr hai...
Dil Teri taraf to gaya
Lekin kismat ne tujse Milne ka rasta hi Moda diya..
Mera dil teri ibadat karta rahega......
Tu jaha rahe khush rahe yahi dua karta rahega.......

What if we were together.....if I had proposed on time.....you would have been mine and I'm yours.....
We would have been happy with each other.....after completing our studies......we will have been engaged.......

on my birthday.... celebrating my birthday in our some special and favorite place .....  spending some quality time with you....... taking you in an embrace and staying there forever.....
Feeling your breath on me and inhaling your scent by snuggling in you...taking every bit of your essence ..... your beauty...... lastly locking lips with you......

The 26th birthday......again without you.....

Phir kat liya ek aur saal tere bin.....
Agar na mile tu to.....na denge kisiko Tera haq.....jo hai muj pe.....
Chahe rahoon tanha taaumra.....tanha hi katega tere hisse ka vakt..... tere bin.....

Life is very unpredictable.......I understood last year...many ups and downs came in life.....
But just one thought came to mind

What if she had been in my life.......she had been consoled me.....she had been supported me...... loved me..... And my Mukku.....my life would have been fulfilled by her presence.........

One day we would have been married and would be lived a beautiful life with each other.........

Spending cold and breezy nights with her ....
Burying face in her bosom taking her warmth....and cuddling her like no one can hurt her.....harm her....touch her.....
Fulfilling her every desire..... seeing the same passion desire in her eyes.....making every night unique and new for her.......
And lastly seeing her content face......

The 27th birthday......with her new memories

Dil tut Gaya tuje us halat Me dekhkar.....
Kabhi shayad Maine bhi chaha tuje us tarah dekhna.....
Yaha....yahi mere pass.....
Na kisi aur ke saath......
Rokar aaya vapas teri dehlij pe kadmo ko rok kar......
Na jane kab kaise lekin
Phir aaunga Laut Kar..........

2005 I came back to India.....to see you....if possible to talk with you......I was delighted
At the entrance of your house, I got some glimpse of yours..... wearing green saree you were looking like goddess floral jewelry complementing your whole look.....as my eyes fell on swollen feet....and next your eyes....with some joy and with unsung pain....as I saw your baby bump my breath hitched ...my world stopped there for a while .....I gulped down to digest that truth and once again looked at you now but with blurry eyes....filled with tears
You were feeding your children.....I consoled myself and made a promise that I'll come soon......and went from there thinking that you were happy in your life.......