Leave Past; Live Past

iv

Once upon a time, somewhere where we once lost track of time, back to those days of plentiful memories to recollect. A tale of secluded words weaved beautifully together; degrading as even a single alphabetical letter failed to achieve freedom. Bickerings of multiple persons inside the abode, peace is attained outside—somewhere down the road. There lies a matured one, on the lush green grass of home, that acts as an unharmful support that cushions any part of the body. There under the flourishing but infertile tree whose sole purpose is to produce descendants, parallel to the expectations, it grew well despite the years, spanning as wide as normal branches would, embracing the lands and protecting from direct exposure to sunlight as it just seeps through tiny spaces left uncovered. There blows gentle refreshing breeze, see as it moves pastures and watch as the woods sway with its presence, following something it carries with the fragments of strength present. There happens to include river with miniscule changing of sight, hear the waters calmly flowing in contrast to the rocks in place, sounds of liquid rushing that inhabits creatures and acts as a source of hydration to some species—a free cradle of bounties of nature to them, in addition to the agricultural accessibilities. There lived that child among many others. Sensing the sound waves induced by surroundings, a change with its atmosphere is easily noticed. “The weather abruptly changed, I wonder how it’ll influence the environment.” A wanderer in the vast open doors of curiosity spoke.
“What are you doing here alone, Shan?” questioned by a familiar voice. Not needing to look back, already identifying the one who appeared without seeing who it is.
“Mom . . . ” uttered in decreasing volume, “nothing in particular. I figured out that I just needed my own me time, to quietly negate my thoughts.”
“You used to freely write your thoughts all the time, seeing you put shackles on yourself is suspicious. Tell me, what is it?”
“I . . . forgot?” Tilting head sidewards; the sun sets downwards. The hue it projects may be perceived differently at differing perspectives, nevertheless, it’s truly a sight to behold. “Mom, I’ll tell you about it if I remember. For now, let us savor the moment together. Shall we?” Laying sideways on the lap to still observe the picturesque beauty it has, an unknowingly hypnotic scene resulted in a nap. Caressing the head as one sleeps, till waking up.
“Shan is awake!” Chatters immediately circulated, causing massive inconvenience of how to entertain all the kids in front.
“Go away swarm of bees, you’re disturbing my beautiful flower’s beauty sleep!” Agitated, grandma held back a little—tiny . . . miniscule, that’s the least we could go.
“I’ll take care of grandma’s temper, go help mom instead. Now,” mouthing the words and at the end a wink was sent. Children dissipated without a word in the blink of an eye.
“Grandma, am I really that beautiful?” questioned genuinely.
“Inside and outside, both are exceptional. Look at the mirror, tell me what you see.” Carefully assisting the head turn to the mirror on the wall, blank expression was seen.
“Feminine . . . ” saying the word impacted the current emotions one withholds.
“Beauty doesn’t belong in any category, as well as other appearance describing words, it is gender neutral. Classifications just appeared out of nowhere and divided it into sections, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s all a compliment.” Statement of the experienced in life, would definitely count as words of wisdom and mark to some. Reflection that was once unshaped somewhat formed in a better version, influence touched in a smile. Then the time has come to finally ask the question held in captivity for so long, mustering up the courage to release it in a settings where there’s only the two of them—mother and child.
“Mom, I sometimes feel like a little bird living inside a cage meant to be taken care of as if one fragile being. It may seem pleasing to the eyes, especially to it’s caretakers but deep down it must never felt pleasurable. Adapting to something introduced at times feels suffocating, often misses the freedom it once tasted. It’s getting long, the point I ought to say is—”

The storytelling halted; nuisance from reality barged in—phone rings, incoming call. “Wait a minute,” informed then proceeded to take the call.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to have you delivered at your house? We can turn back anytime,” she worriedly followed up.

“You seriously don’t need to, I’m not a child anymore. And besides, I’ve got something on my hands for now.” Caressing the kid beside, then flashing a smile as the child returned back the pleasantry by offering a snack by hand. Nonchalantly responding by eating it directly in hand.

“Wifey, ring me up if there's something conspicuous alright? We, girls, shouldn’t roam around at night. Go home immediately after your errand—” her babbles got obstructed as the other one inserted.

“You worry too much, I’ll be fine. I’ll heed your warnings, all good? I’ll text at home, worry about yourself for now.”

“If not only because of this . . . I get it, I get it.” Releasing a huge sigh as she ended the call.

On a bench outside the mall, there sits two beings of different sex and though same when it comes to gender roles. Under the dimmed street lights, warm scene although cold at night. “I haven’t asked, why were you alone earlier? I focused on sharing a story and forgot the basics, I’m sorry.” This child seemed lost, not sure if it’s on purpose or just because of one’s negligence but she remained composed even after that. I guess she’s not your typical childish type just because she’s a child, could definitely see myself when I was her age.

“C-Continue the s-story, I-I don’t mind s-staying until it’s done . . . ” How cute, how could someone be cute when stuttering? I wasn’t like that when I was her age since I talked fluently, still we’re entirely separate beings. It counts that parts of us are similar but on the other hand, she’ll grow up to be someone to root for unlike me.

“After I finish we’ll have our way searching for your guardian, deal?” Looking cute while nodding, that’s right. My heart melts from it, children are my weakness—I wonder how they’re faring these days . . . how strange, she’s been fanning her hand outwards for awhile now. Having shift the gaze to the direction of her tiny hands, there stands someone on the opposite side.

Whispering, “You can’t continuously keep the fact that your guardian is here from me, I’m quite meticulous you know?” while covering the side of the lips to hide from having read the movements it shows. The guy closed the gap between them, having crossed the road.

“I apologize in advance, did her presence bother you?” the guy talked.

“Not at all, she’s actually nice to be with. I hope to bond with her again if fate allows,” empty words let out. Fully knowing that their borders won’t collide again, hoping is the only solution. He looks responsible enough, the question is why?

“You must be wondering about this situation and it’s definitely not what you think it is,” he said out of the blue as if predicting what would come out of the other mouth. Awkward smile was what he got. “See you around? Do you live near here? You can join us in exchange for the inconveniences she caused,” he offered.

“T-That’s right, a-and you can r-resume the story on the w-way . . . ”

It all falls into ruin after that though, the story is messed up right from that point.