Eternity in lost dreams

Dream I.

You ran to your room after getting home from the cemetery. You always hate this specific day every year. You hated it so much. After reaching your room, you opened the door and closed it shut. You locked your door and sat in the ground. You started bursting tears out of your eyesockets. You tried to keep yourself together and stood up, but you couldn't. You just broke down. You couldn't stop crying.

You went into your bed and sat on it. You just wanted to die, but you wouldn't. After a while, you finally composed yourself. It's been a year, yet you still haven't moved on. You always made yourself think you were the reason why she's gone, that you're the reason why she ended her life. You kept making these thoughts bother you, which made your life hell.

You stood up from your bed and walked towards the mirror. You look at yourself in the mirror and said
"It's your fault that she's dead. It's your fault that she's dead. You killed her. You killed her."
You just kept saying those words over and over again. You got enough of yourself and punched the mirror, which resulted it into breaking into multiple pieces. You look at the broken mirror and said "I wish I covered it up already." You look away from the mirror and went back to your bed. You sighed, being tired of everything.

This day was your final straw. You couldn't take it anymore.

You wonder to yourself, again and again.
'Why couldn't it had been me? Why did it had to be her?
Why did I not stop her?'

You were with her that day, You were beside her. Why didn't you help her?

I wish I stopped her. Why didn't I stop her? She was my friend, she was my only friend. She talked to me every day. I was the only one who would talk to her. You feel sick. You feel like hyperventilating. You want to end this pain, but how? The only thing that can end this pain is her. The person you thought you killed, the person who were always with you.

You let out an angry groan and punched the drawer beside you. Your medicines and your night lamp dropped on the floor. You hurriedly grabbed them.

Wait. Can't this pill.. Help me? Can't this.. Help me meet her again? How did I not get this idea throughout this year..' You thought to yourself.

You swallowed every pill prescribed to you, overdosing in your medicines.

You smiled after drinking all of them. 'I can finally..' before you even finished, you see a note above the drawer. 'When did this appear?' you ask yourself.

You read the note slowly, the note said,

Note 0/12
...no matter what, I'll always be with you, Y/N. Please don't forget that and thank you, for everything.

..'Twelve notes? How did this note appear here? When did it appear?' You ask yourself endless questions.

You grunted and put the note back from where you found it.

You start to feel your medicines take effect, making you very drowsy. You look at your bed and smiled. You finally will be able to see her... Finally.

You lay down on the bed and covered yourself with your red blanket. Before you finally lose consciousness, you said your final words.

'I don't want to be awake anymore.'

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You wake up.
...or did you?

You woke up to a beautiful pink landscape. Your body is residing in a small island.

You look around to take note of everything. You notice multiple isles, and small hills. Beautiful pink trees and a huge body of water everywhere. You see spiral staircases leading to the pink clouds too. You squinted your eyes and slapped yourself multiple times.